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MATTS-MATICS: NY Jets vs NY Rangers |
BRAVE Fan Talks REDSKINS
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SABRES, PENS, SHOTGUNS & METS |
BILL BUCKNER WAS INNOCENT |
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Spring Break Training PART I |
Spring Break Training PART II |
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Rex O'Rourke
Posts:194
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| 04-06-2008 - SelecA - |
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YELLOW KNIFE, SASKATOON – The Matts have given me another chance to crack the MTM Rotation. Hopefully, you’ll find this to be a QS (Quality Start). Here goes with a list of things that peeve me (Sports Edition):
10 – Women’s Lacrosse: They’re playing real basketball, real hockey and real rugby. It’s time they put a helmet on, got in there and hit somebody.
9 – Boxing retirement: You get one and one only. End of story.
8 – Guys who say it’s not about the money: Trust me, it’s about the money.
7 – People who want John Daly to clean up his act: Memo to the big guy… You’re currently addicted to booze, cigarettes, fatty food, and soda pop. You don’t marry well, work out, or practice, yet you have the best hands this side of Tiger Woods. Basically, you’re a train wreck just like most of America. Don’t change a thing. In fact, I want hookers servicing you between the green and tee box, Jager shots for birdies, and a cigarette hanging from your mouth with every swing. Think of the ratings.
6 – Tattoos: Enough already. No one can decipher them anyway. You just look stupid. Take a look at the blurry mess on any tattooed old timer. That’s you someday.
5 – The guys who compete to be the first moron to yell: “You Da Man” or “Get In The Hole” at golf tourneys. Get a life.
4 – Black Uniforms: They don’t make you look meaner or better. On a 90 degree day in August they’re actually attracting more sun and weakening you. They’re not your team’s original color (The Oakland Raider’s are grandfathered in) and should be disposed of. On the flip side, I do like the “throwback”.
3 - John Sterling: I don’t wish him any harm. I just want him to die peacefully in his sleep so my beloved Yankees can get a pro in the booth (like the late great Bob Murphy - you lucky Mutt fans). Stop torturing me with “Giambinos” and “TH-aaa pitch”. He’s the only human on the planet that uses two syllables for the word “the.” He’s a blowhard who’s in love with his own voice and thinks he invented the game. Please go away.
2 – NFL commercial breaks: A team scores, they go to commercial, come back for the kick-off, then go to another commercial. Just BRUTAL! I can watch a movie and a football game at the same time. 3 ½ hours for about 15 minutes of action. Thank God for DVR.
1 – Posing at the plate: When you hit the ball - RUN!!! I saw a vintage Yankee/Dodger 1977 WS game the other day. Steve Garvey hit a ball inside the bag down the right field line for a triple. Few modern ballplayers would leg out a triple and Garvey wasn’t exactly a speed merchant. Derek Jeter busts it out of the box EVERY time. But for every Jeter there are 100 Mannys. Is it so hard run hard 90 feet 3 times a game?
That’s it. What do you think?
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Grote2DMax
Posts:476
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| 04-06-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Rex, I have been a critic of your posts every week but this time you have struck paydirt. I wouldn't argue with a thing except for maybe #10. Those helmets really mess up the hair and the tougher girls can go straight to Irish Hurling. The Mets black tops and hats have got to go. I don't want to see them in the new ballpark. |
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vincent
Posts:140
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| 04-06-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Wow! You actually know something about sports. I agree with Grote but would take the lacrosse thing one step further - they play in one piece speedos like the olympic swimmers... I wouldn' miss a game. |
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ANGRYWARD
Posts:709
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| 04-06-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Great post today Rex. I like that you take John Sterling to task. He is the worst. How bad is he? He's so bad, he almost makes Waldman seem good. Almost. The black uniforms are a joke too, and you are right about the Raiders having dibs on them. The other thing the Raiders should own is the term "Nation." So tired of every team claiming that suffix. Enough already. Not to offend our inked guests here but I agree on your tattoo take as well. There was this great Matt Groening "Life in Hell" cartoon featuring two wrinkled, incredibly tattooed and pierced oldtimers in a home, one of them is sporting a tatt that says "Alanis 4-ever" and the other one says to him "I see you were an A-hole in the 90s as well." Classic. |
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Janet
Posts:205
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| 04-06-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Rex, just put the Met broadcast on the radio while you watch the Yanks. Yankee fans don't what they are watching so it wouldnt make a difference. |
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Janet
Posts:205
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| 04-06-2008 - SelecA - |
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| P.s... That sounded mean. I was just teasing and loved your column |
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ActiveForums 3.6
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How Philly Won |
One Of Our First
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ROY HOBBS ON STEROIDS??? |
MEAGHAN & JAKE: COOLEST FANS |
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Nobody Remembers The Loser |
Giant/Super Tuesday |
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MATTS-MATICS: Hockey Nuts Go At It |
See us on: "Law & Order" |
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MATT FACTS:
Chad Pennington is NOT a Brett Favre fan... Hillary Clinton and Don Nelson have never been seen in the same place... Jerry Manuel is not related to Charlie ManuelJerry Manuel is not related to Charlie Manuel... Somebody namd Michel coaches the Pittsburgh Penguins... Tiki Barber quit the Giants. The Giants then won the Super Bowl... The New England Patriots only lost ONE game out of 19!!! Aaron Heilman was actually funny in re to Eli and Plaxico Burress helping the Mets as a pitcher and outfielder, respectively. Repeat, Heilman was funny... Jessica Simpson would rather date Tom Brady - trust us... Eli Manning is better than Archie - now... Alyssa Milano is a Met fan. RRRRR... Rickey Henderson speaks in the 3rd Person... Shawn Green has big ears... Howard Johnson likes to stay at the Holiday Inn, ironically... Sandy Alomar, Sr. is the youngest of 9 kids. That's why he was quick around the dish. Jiminy Cricket was the Philly Phanatic in a previous life…Fred Wilpon is pals with Sandy Koufax... Mike Ditka is a really tough guy.. Buffalo has a Triple A baseball team. They are NOT called The Snowballs... Chan Ho Park has people thinking of naming a ballfield after him - it would be called Chan Ho Park Park... John Maine has never been, oddly enough, to Maine... Curt Gowdy, Jr. has never been to Yellow Knife, Canada... Kevin Mitchell played 6 positions for the Mets in '86 and, according to Doc Gooden's book, didn't like cats... John Olerud & Wayne Gretzky have never been seen in the same place... Kevin McReynolds now makes his living doing laugh tracks for sit-coms... Tony Gwynn is nearing 300 lbs... Carlos Beltran has Mercedes Benz dealerships named for him in Barcelona, Spain... Willie Montanez was called Guillermo by Lenny Randle... Rusty Staub beat Jeff Kent in a race – TODAY... Jay Horwitz is a dynamite Cricket players – somebody said... Jeff Wilpon was a decent minor league catcher... Ziggy Palfy lives in Slovakia and is a big Met fan... Superman Returns, yet still can’t hit Billy Wagner... David Wright will win the Triple Crown – on a horse... Omar Minaya is Tobey McGuire’s stunt-double in Spider Man 3... Hilary Clinton has Mr. Met pajamas – we think... Albert Einstein was a HUGE Met fan... The Metropolitan Opera House was named for the Mets after their 2nd season in ’63... Wally Backman, ’86 sparkplug, considered changing his name to Wally Back-Matt... Neil Allen and Mike Stanton, former Mets, have Allen & Stanton Streets on Lower East Side named for them.
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