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Subject: MEET THE MATTS HAIKU MANIA

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Author Messages
TheMatts
Posts:1598

09-04-2008 - SelecA - Alert 
KYOTO, JAPAN – A while back we discovered a Myspace friend called “Joe Smith is God”. He offered an extremely amusing haiku extolling the virtues, true and otherwise, of the Mets reliever. It inspires us today.

Road trip now complete
Milwaukee’s Best are swept away
Walt weeps in his suds.

Gnats knock the Sillies
Further out of contention
Now we slap them silly.

Carlos Delgado
Eats righty pitching for lunch
Doesn’t dive for balls.

Shea days are numbered
Citi Field looms in the outfield
Seats hurt our butt cheeks.

The phantom at bat
Bunt one miss one grounding out
Why is Luis playing?

Bullpen enters the game
Stomach cramps tie us up
Where’s the nearest loo?

The secret of beer
Twenty-two ounce Miller Lites
In the Upper Deck.

Jon Niese’s nose on
Ramon Castro’s big head
Won’t sleep well tonight.

With no first inning
Pedro would be an ace again.
And we would never score.

Don't look now readers
Yanks begin to make their move
See what Seattle brings.

Zambrano melting
in the hot Chicago sun
Cubs are wavering.

And in the other world of sports:

Go Big Blue tonight
Take McCain in the ratings
And Skins on the field.

Venus couldn’t close
Ten wasted set points to sis
Serena takes match.

NY Bretts have picked
Jet Favre as their captain
Hasn’t taken a snap.

Today’s post is done
Let’s see your own haikus
Tomorrow’s Cookie.

Dude
Posts:608

09-04-2008 - SelecA - Alert 
yankee joe is mad
cookie thinks it a raw deal
really its sour grapes

could this be the year
could the mets have what it takes
only joe smith knows

please send palin back
cold alaska is calling
home before it melts
Yankee Joe
Posts:379

09-04-2008 - SelecA - Alert 
Yankees come alive
Prove Joe right
Mutts blow lead again
Nick C
Posts:131

09-04-2008 - SelecA - Alert 
YJ - you are NOT a quitter!
Matts - jgclancy's Castillo updates are beautiful!
Congrats to all Wards - Angry, Maternal and Maternity.
jgclancy
Posts:478

09-04-2008 - SelecA - Alert 
Okay...to be the voice of pedantic enlightenment. These are more like Senryu than Haiku fellas........here's one that doesn't involve Luis C. since I've given him the next few days off .

Summer Almost Gone
Met and Phillies only one
Yankees hope kaput
TheMatts
Posts:1598

09-04-2008 - SelecA - Alert 
To roughly translate the Japanese poem into Engrish, line 1 has 5 syllables, line 2 has 7 and line 3 has 5. The Japanese use sound units called on and since most Japanese words have short sounds the number of words in a true haiku are fewer.

Yankee Schmo fully understanding the concept and powering through with a masterful poem.
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MATT FACTS:
Chad Pennington is NOT a Brett Favre fan... Hillary Clinton and Don Nelson have never been  seen in the same place... Jerry Manuel is not related to Charlie ManuelJerry Manuel is not related to Charlie Manuel... Somebody namd Michel coaches the Pittsburgh Penguins... Tiki Barber quit the Giants. The Giants then won the Super Bowl... The New England Patriots only lost ONE game out of 19!!! Aaron Heilman was actually funny in re to Eli and Plaxico Burress helping the Mets as a pitcher and outfielder, respectively. Repeat, Heilman was funny... Jessica Simpson would rather date Tom Brady - trust us... Eli Manning is better than Archie - now... Alyssa Milano is a Met fan. RRRRR... Rickey Henderson speaks in the 3rd Person... Shawn Green has big ears... Howard Johnson likes to stay at the Holiday Inn, ironically... Sandy Alomar, Sr. is the youngest of 9 kids. That's why he was quick around the dish. Jiminy Cricket was  the Philly Phanatic in a previous life…Fred Wilpon is pals  with Sandy Koufax... Mike Ditka is a really tough guy.. Buffalo has a Triple A baseball team. They are NOT called The Snowballs... Chan Ho Park has people thinking of naming a ballfield after him - it would be called Chan Ho Park Park... John Maine has never been, oddly enough, to Maine... Curt Gowdy, Jr. has never been to Yellow Knife, Canada... Kevin Mitchell played 6 positions for the Mets in '86 and, according to Doc Gooden's book, didn't like cats... John Olerud & Wayne Gretzky have never been seen in the same place... Kevin McReynolds now makes his living doing laugh tracks for sit-coms... Tony Gwynn is nearing 300 lbs... Carlos Beltran has Mercedes Benz dealerships named for him in Barcelona, Spain... Willie Montanez was called Guillermo by Lenny Randle... Rusty Staub beat Jeff Kent in a race – TODAY... Jay Horwitz is a dynamite Cricket players – somebody said... Jeff Wilpon was a decent minor league catcher... Ziggy Palfy lives in Slovakia and is a big Met fan... Superman Returns, yet still can’t hit Billy Wagner... David Wright will win the Triple Crown – on a horse... Omar Minaya is Tobey McGuire’s stunt-double in Spider Man 3... Hilary Clinton has Mr. Met pajamas – we think... Albert Einstein was a HUGE Met fan... The Metropolitan Opera House was named for the Mets after their 2nd season in ’63... Wally Backman, ’86 sparkplug, considered changing his name to Wally Back-Matt... Neil Allen and Mike Stanton, former Mets, have Allen & Stanton Streets on Lower East Side named for them.

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