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MATTS-MATICS: NY Jets vs NY Rangers |
BRAVE Fan Talks REDSKINS
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SABRES, PENS, SHOTGUNS & METS |
BILL BUCKNER WAS INNOCENT |
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Spring Break Training PART I |
Spring Break Training PART II |
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TheMatts
Posts:1598
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| 08-19-2008 - SelecA - |
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| STATEN ISLAND, NY - We paid a visit to 'our guy' on June 17th in Great Kills. Oddly, people were throwing snowballs behind us. Anyway, he's a guy's guy, charming in his way and something of a cross-pollination of Donald Trump, Mark Cuban and Al Sharpton. Anyway, we needed to do something - anything necessary, actually - that would ensure that our team would get into first place. We remember shaking his hand; it was simultaneously cold and hot - very strange. He listened intently to our plea/quest, a slight smile curling in the corners of his mouth. Matt remembers thinking that was creepy, given the seriousness of our situation. After hearing us out, he became animated - literally - and asked us if we would be willing to pay any price for what we requested of him. I explained that like all fans, the cost of tickets, parking and beer had already socked us pretty good and that money was, unfortunately, a consideration. This prompted a coughing/cursing fit of inaudible expletives during which Matt concluded that money wasn't what our heated-up pal wanted. We were able to calm him with our assurances that we were willing to do "... whatever it takes to get to first!" This made him very happy. Indeed, he was downright giddy. He patted down his front-to-back comb-over and sent a text to somebody from his i Phone. He then looked at us, through us really, and said, "It is done. A man named Jerry will be handling the job for me. He does my work. You WILL be hearing from me." Just as he finished, a thunder clap and puff of smoke produced Jason Kidd and Dirk Nowitski dressed as goons from The Sopranos. With furrowed brows and a silent nod, they ushered him to a waiting cherry-red limousine. Tawana Brawley was behind the wheel. Before they pulled away, the tinted window came down and 'our guy' handed us a note. "August 18: First & Maine." He laughed a menacing laugh and the limo screeched a haunting exit. Fast forward to yesterday: Our team was alone on top and John Maine was on the hill. Strange... Angry Ward tomorrow. |
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Marty O'B
Posts:65
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| 08-19-2008 - SelecA - |
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| I liked the animated - literally - part the best. And did you guys at least get a guarantee that they would stay in first? |
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Joe
Posts:95
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| 08-19-2008 - SelecA - |
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| i looked at it and thought you idiots spelled sole wrong. then i read it. funny. when do you find out what you have to do? i have some friends in s.i. that can help. |
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vincent
Posts:140
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| 08-19-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Nice combo of characters! Especially the cameo by T. Brawley - NICE!!! |
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Janet
Posts:205
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| 08-19-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Did you sell our bullpen for first place?! The starters have all left leads in the last 3 losses. They ALL STINK. |
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Cookie
Posts:615
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| 08-19-2008 - SelecA - |
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Not that my team is doing any better..... but was this celebration written before last night's loss to the lowly Pirates? I am guessing it was-- because it's quite the crafty and entertaining piece of reading.
Anyway... congrats on a more than fractional lead in the NL Least Division. Eh.. i guess it beats double digits being back. |
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ActiveForums 3.6
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How Philly Won |
One Of Our First
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ROY HOBBS ON STEROIDS??? |
MEAGHAN & JAKE: COOLEST FANS |
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Nobody Remembers The Loser |
Giant/Super Tuesday |
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MATTS-MATICS: Hockey Nuts Go At It |
See us on: "Law & Order" |
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MATT FACTS:
Chad Pennington is NOT a Brett Favre fan... Hillary Clinton and Don Nelson have never been seen in the same place... Jerry Manuel is not related to Charlie ManuelJerry Manuel is not related to Charlie Manuel... Somebody namd Michel coaches the Pittsburgh Penguins... Tiki Barber quit the Giants. The Giants then won the Super Bowl... The New England Patriots only lost ONE game out of 19!!! Aaron Heilman was actually funny in re to Eli and Plaxico Burress helping the Mets as a pitcher and outfielder, respectively. Repeat, Heilman was funny... Jessica Simpson would rather date Tom Brady - trust us... Eli Manning is better than Archie - now... Alyssa Milano is a Met fan. RRRRR... Rickey Henderson speaks in the 3rd Person... Shawn Green has big ears... Howard Johnson likes to stay at the Holiday Inn, ironically... Sandy Alomar, Sr. is the youngest of 9 kids. That's why he was quick around the dish. Jiminy Cricket was the Philly Phanatic in a previous life…Fred Wilpon is pals with Sandy Koufax... Mike Ditka is a really tough guy.. Buffalo has a Triple A baseball team. They are NOT called The Snowballs... Chan Ho Park has people thinking of naming a ballfield after him - it would be called Chan Ho Park Park... John Maine has never been, oddly enough, to Maine... Curt Gowdy, Jr. has never been to Yellow Knife, Canada... Kevin Mitchell played 6 positions for the Mets in '86 and, according to Doc Gooden's book, didn't like cats... John Olerud & Wayne Gretzky have never been seen in the same place... Kevin McReynolds now makes his living doing laugh tracks for sit-coms... Tony Gwynn is nearing 300 lbs... Carlos Beltran has Mercedes Benz dealerships named for him in Barcelona, Spain... Willie Montanez was called Guillermo by Lenny Randle... Rusty Staub beat Jeff Kent in a race – TODAY... Jay Horwitz is a dynamite Cricket players – somebody said... Jeff Wilpon was a decent minor league catcher... Ziggy Palfy lives in Slovakia and is a big Met fan... Superman Returns, yet still can’t hit Billy Wagner... David Wright will win the Triple Crown – on a horse... Omar Minaya is Tobey McGuire’s stunt-double in Spider Man 3... Hilary Clinton has Mr. Met pajamas – we think... Albert Einstein was a HUGE Met fan... The Metropolitan Opera House was named for the Mets after their 2nd season in ’63... Wally Backman, ’86 sparkplug, considered changing his name to Wally Back-Matt... Neil Allen and Mike Stanton, former Mets, have Allen & Stanton Streets on Lower East Side named for them.
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