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MATTS-MATICS: NY Jets vs NY Rangers |
BRAVE Fan Talks REDSKINS
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SABRES, PENS, SHOTGUNS & METS |
BILL BUCKNER WAS INNOCENT |
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Spring Break Training PART I |
Spring Break Training PART II |
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Rex O'Rourke
Posts:194
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| 08-17-2008 - SelecA - |
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New York, NY – Hello, I’m Rex O’Rourke and you’re not. Our top story tonight, my Olympic boycott is a complete disaster. Michael Phelps is making a mockery of my mocking, and a sham of my shame. The games are currently being broadcast on 215 networks simultaneously and I can no more avoid them than avoid bug bites at dusk. The Chinese are proving to be wonderful hosts and the air (I’ll need confirmation from West Coast Craig on this one) seems cleaner than L.A. Despite my attempts to avoid all coverage of this overblown professional showcase, only throwing my TV out the window and locking myself in the basement will ensure a news blackout and thus a successful boycott.
The Mutts are also defying all logic and occupying first place despite my belief that the Marlins would rise up as they do every five or six years like the baseball version of a cicada bug. Philly is hanging tough despite a recent slide and only the Bronx Bummers are playing to the form predicted by this reporter, requiring 13 innings to squeak by the lowly Royals… AT HOME!
Brett Favre is engineering touchdown drives for the Jets even though he violated retirement rule #1… if you cry (see Bossy, Mike, Schmidt, Michael Jack, and Elway, John) at the press conference you can’t come back. I thought he was hanging them up.
Joe Torre has not taken hedge clippers to Manny’s dreads upon arrival at LAX.
Gas has not reached $5 per gallon.
What I’m trying to say is I don’t know anything about anything and I admit it!
This is Rex “Mr. Wrong” O’Rourke.
Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow!
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Joe
Posts:95
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| 08-17-2008 - SelecA - |
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| mr wrong got it all right. or is it wright? |
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Cookie
Posts:615
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| 08-17-2008 - SelecA - |
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Hey... Gas is down below $4 in my neck of the woods. If it ain't time to switch from Ramen Noodle soup to some real Wonton Soup from the Chin-ois restaurant.. I don't know when it would be.
I said it before.. I'll say it again... It's the NL East people!! Don't be so surprised.
Bret, Bret, Bret... How far up the caboose of him is the NY Media? They've gone above and beyond the depths of the deepest colonoscopy with today's headlines. The guy plays two series and it's like he's parted the Red Sea. The TEAM still lost. .. pre-season or not. LIke i said.. he will not elevate the team on his own. There is no 'I' in team...and no BRET either.
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Grote2DMax
Posts:476
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| 08-17-2008 - SelecA - |
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| No mention of the blatant cheating by the Chinese who stacked their gymnastics team with 14 year old girls? Only Roman Polanski could love a team like that. |
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jgclancy
Posts:479
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| 08-17-2008 - SelecA - |
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I'd toss in Woody Allen but anyway......Mets up by two thanks to lowly Padres and the lemmings.....err....Yankees
stave off double digits by edging the vaunted Royals. Giambi goes 0-2 ----he's as useful as an umbrella in a hurricane Good morning, good afternoon and goodnight |
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Grote2DMax
Posts:476
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| 08-17-2008 - SelecP - |
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| Maybe R. Kelly too. The Mets bullpen is as scary as the Giambino at all all you can eat buffet. |
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ActiveForums 3.6
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How Philly Won |
One Of Our First
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ROY HOBBS ON STEROIDS??? |
MEAGHAN & JAKE: COOLEST FANS |
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Nobody Remembers The Loser |
Giant/Super Tuesday |
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MATTS-MATICS: Hockey Nuts Go At It |
See us on: "Law & Order" |
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MATT FACTS:
Chad Pennington is NOT a Brett Favre fan... Hillary Clinton and Don Nelson have never been seen in the same place... Jerry Manuel is not related to Charlie ManuelJerry Manuel is not related to Charlie Manuel... Somebody namd Michel coaches the Pittsburgh Penguins... Tiki Barber quit the Giants. The Giants then won the Super Bowl... The New England Patriots only lost ONE game out of 19!!! Aaron Heilman was actually funny in re to Eli and Plaxico Burress helping the Mets as a pitcher and outfielder, respectively. Repeat, Heilman was funny... Jessica Simpson would rather date Tom Brady - trust us... Eli Manning is better than Archie - now... Alyssa Milano is a Met fan. RRRRR... Rickey Henderson speaks in the 3rd Person... Shawn Green has big ears... Howard Johnson likes to stay at the Holiday Inn, ironically... Sandy Alomar, Sr. is the youngest of 9 kids. That's why he was quick around the dish. Jiminy Cricket was the Philly Phanatic in a previous life…Fred Wilpon is pals with Sandy Koufax... Mike Ditka is a really tough guy.. Buffalo has a Triple A baseball team. They are NOT called The Snowballs... Chan Ho Park has people thinking of naming a ballfield after him - it would be called Chan Ho Park Park... John Maine has never been, oddly enough, to Maine... Curt Gowdy, Jr. has never been to Yellow Knife, Canada... Kevin Mitchell played 6 positions for the Mets in '86 and, according to Doc Gooden's book, didn't like cats... John Olerud & Wayne Gretzky have never been seen in the same place... Kevin McReynolds now makes his living doing laugh tracks for sit-coms... Tony Gwynn is nearing 300 lbs... Carlos Beltran has Mercedes Benz dealerships named for him in Barcelona, Spain... Willie Montanez was called Guillermo by Lenny Randle... Rusty Staub beat Jeff Kent in a race – TODAY... Jay Horwitz is a dynamite Cricket players – somebody said... Jeff Wilpon was a decent minor league catcher... Ziggy Palfy lives in Slovakia and is a big Met fan... Superman Returns, yet still can’t hit Billy Wagner... David Wright will win the Triple Crown – on a horse... Omar Minaya is Tobey McGuire’s stunt-double in Spider Man 3... Hilary Clinton has Mr. Met pajamas – we think... Albert Einstein was a HUGE Met fan... The Metropolitan Opera House was named for the Mets after their 2nd season in ’63... Wally Backman, ’86 sparkplug, considered changing his name to Wally Back-Matt... Neil Allen and Mike Stanton, former Mets, have Allen & Stanton Streets on Lower East Side named for them.
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