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Spring Break Training PART I |
Spring Break Training PART II |
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SABRES, PENS, SHOTGUNS & METS |
BILL BUCKNER WAS INNOCENT |
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ANGRYWARD
Posts:694
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| 07-09-2008 - SelecA - |
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| MILWALTEE, WI– Since I’m working on limited sleep, I’m sure this is going to be one of those posts that reads like a dim-witted grade-schooler’s attempt at some slick William Faulkner stream of consciousness scribblings. In short, I don’t know how it will sound, but I’ll still try to bring the fury. First thing on today’s agenda has to be: "Where in the wide, wide world of sports is my old Midwestern compadre Wisconsin Walt?" This is one week when I thought for sure we’d be hearing from our man in Cheeseland. Aside from Spain, with Nadal winning Wimbledon and Espana the futbol Euro, Wisconsin is most certainly the center of the sports universe this week. The Brew Crew went all Sixto Lezcano and acquired C.C. Sabathia which automatically makes them a legitimate playoff contender. The question is, if he gets them to deep into the post-season, will they step up and show him the Don Money this winter. Any way you slice it, Walt has got to be loving that move. Sheets and Sabathia is a very formidable one-two punch, for sure. But one wonders what WW thinks about all of this Brett Favre nonsense. After a tearful retirement speech several months back, Favre is now sounding like he wants to return to play one or more seasons in Green Bay or elsewhere. But do Packer fans want him back? Moreover, do the Packers themselves want him back? Answers vary, but this is putting everyone in a very awkward position. The only one who can fully explain the complexities of this situation is our man Walt. OK, now that we got that out of the way, I need to admit that I had some trouble with this week’s topic. Many were tossed on the trash heap, but rather than hide my failures I’d rather put a few of them out here for general ridicule. The first idea was a Weird Al Yankovic like reworking of Madonna’s Greatest Hits reflecting her special bond with Alex Rodriguez. After "Material Guy," "Boras Don’t Preach," and a truly tasteless version of "Like a Virgin" I came to my senses and scrapped it. Besides, I’m sure A-Rod will be offering up plenty of more ammunition in the coming months and years. (Congrats on having that distraction locked up through 2017 Yankees fans!) Next brilliant concept was a parody of West Coast Craig’s new weekly serial. Called "The Bad Ssssher" it was to revolve around a rogue librarian who was exacting revenge against tardy book returnees using lead pipe cruelty and Dewey decimal system-like precision. Yeah, that one didn’t go much further than that line right there. With nowhere else to turn I figured I’d just go on one of my usual tirades about teams making fans buy personal seat licenses, calorie counts on fast food menus, or people who think an escalator is a ride rather than a moving staircase. But all of those had a "been there done that" feel. My final attempt at a topic was so horrendous that I’m ashamed to mention the specifics. Let’s just say that it involved a buddy movie based on the Keith Hernandez and Clyde Frazier "Just for Men" commercials. You know what though, as bad as it was, movies like "The Love Guru" still get made in Hollywood all the time. Let’s just say that this one is still in development. There may yet be some play for Mr. Gray. |
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ANGRYWARD
Posts:694
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| 07-09-2008 - SelecA - |
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| P.S. You know what really makes me angry? Waking up at the crack of dawn to post this column and finding the MTM site down. |
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TheMatts
Posts:1581
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| 07-09-2008 - SelecA - |
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| NOTE: There were some reports of site trouble with MTM this morning. Yankee Joe and Cookie have allegedly been contacted by the Internet Police - Gore's Gendarmes - for questioning. We apologize for any convenience this may have provided the likes of B. Cox and/or the Phree-Phalling Phanatic. |
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Greenpoint Glen
Posts:78
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| 07-09-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Or inconvenience? While the ARod divorce drama is front page news, we certainly don't corner the market on sports soap opera. What in the sam hill is Brett Favre doing out there in Cheeseville? Take your emotional immaturity and join a pro wrestling circuit if you're that desperate for attention. |
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Sam's-a-fan
Posts:910
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| 07-09-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Ward - shouldn't down escalators be named something else? Maybe "Descentalators?" Also, if you send a slinky down an up escalator will you have created a perpetual motion machine? |
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Grote2DMax
Posts:454
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| 07-09-2008 - SelecA - |
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| I think Clyde and Keith can be the Hope and Crosby of the new millenium, lending a hand across the land to the gray haired man. |
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ActiveForums 3.6
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MATTS-MATICS: NY Jets vs NY Rangers |
BRAVE Fan Talks REDSKINS
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ROY HOBBS ON STEROIDS??? |
MEAGHAN & JAKE: COOLEST FANS |
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Nobody Remembers The Loser |
Giant/Super Tuesday |
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MATTS-MATICS: Hockey Nuts Go At It |
See us on: "Law & Order" |
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MATT FACTS:
Chad Pennington is NOT a Brett Favre fan... Hillary Clinton and Don Nelson have never been seen in the same place... Jerry Manuel is not related to Charlie ManuelJerry Manuel is not related to Charlie Manuel... Somebody namd Michel coaches the Pittsburgh Penguins... Tiki Barber quit the Giants. The Giants then won the Super Bowl... The New England Patriots only lost ONE game out of 19!!! Aaron Heilman was actually funny in re to Eli and Plaxico Burress helping the Mets as a pitcher and outfielder, respectively. Repeat, Heilman was funny... Jessica Simpson would rather date Tom Brady - trust us... Eli Manning is better than Archie - now... Alyssa Milano is a Met fan. RRRRR... Rickey Henderson speaks in the 3rd Person... Shawn Green has big ears... Howard Johnson likes to stay at the Holiday Inn, ironically... Sandy Alomar, Sr. is the youngest of 9 kids. That's why he was quick around the dish. Jiminy Cricket was the Philly Phanatic in a previous life…Fred Wilpon is pals with Sandy Koufax... Mike Ditka is a really tough guy.. Buffalo has a Triple A baseball team. They are NOT called The Snowballs... Chan Ho Park has people thinking of naming a ballfield after him - it would be called Chan Ho Park Park... John Maine has never been, oddly enough, to Maine... Curt Gowdy, Jr. has never been to Yellow Knife, Canada... Kevin Mitchell played 6 positions for the Mets in '86 and, according to Doc Gooden's book, didn't like cats... John Olerud & Wayne Gretzky have never been seen in the same place... Kevin McReynolds now makes his living doing laugh tracks for sit-coms... Tony Gwynn is nearing 300 lbs... Carlos Beltran has Mercedes Benz dealerships named for him in Barcelona, Spain... Willie Montanez was called Guillermo by Lenny Randle... Rusty Staub beat Jeff Kent in a race – TODAY... Jay Horwitz is a dynamite Cricket players – somebody said... Jeff Wilpon was a decent minor league catcher... Ziggy Palfy lives in Slovakia and is a big Met fan... Superman Returns, yet still can’t hit Billy Wagner... David Wright will win the Triple Crown – on a horse... Omar Minaya is Tobey McGuire’s stunt-double in Spider Man 3... Hilary Clinton has Mr. Met pajamas – we think... Albert Einstein was a HUGE Met fan... The Metropolitan Opera House was named for the Mets after their 2nd season in ’63... Wally Backman, ’86 sparkplug, considered changing his name to Wally Back-Matt... Neil Allen and Mike Stanton, former Mets, have Allen & Stanton Streets on Lower East Side named for them.
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