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MATTS-MATICS: NY Jets vs NY Rangers |
BRAVE Fan Talks REDSKINS
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SABRES, PENS, SHOTGUNS & METS |
BILL BUCKNER WAS INNOCENT |
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Spring Break Training PART I |
Spring Break Training PART II |
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TheMatts
Posts:1642
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| 03-19-2007 - SelecA - |
 Alert
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TASMANIA, Australia - If you’re having a family, raise pitchers – especially left-handed pitchers. The gender doesn’t matter as long as they grow into someone that can throw 1-3 innings and have an ERA just under 5.00. That ability, or lack of ability, will fetch them in the neighborhood of 1.2 million dollars a year. Correction - it will be much more by the time they are ready, assuming they are still in their single-digits years. Are we crazy? No. Just look at each major league roster. Every team has a glaring question mark in the starting rotation or bullpen. Even the Yankees fall victim to the dearth of quality arms. And before you get in our grill about the Tigers, keep in mind that Kenny Rogers is VITAL to that staff. He’s what, 42. Look at the Mets. Oralndo “El Duque” Hernandez is being heavily relied upon to carry the load of a full-time #2 starter. This is a guy that has been injured in each of the past 5 years and pulled a calf muscle jogging in the outfield before the playoffs started. This was at the end of a season – when one’s legs should be loose. He missed the playoffs and the Mets missed the World Series. Cut to the present: The 41+ year-old El Duque (just Google him; it’s right there for anyone to read despite that fact that no newspapers seem to have any interest in researching these days and love to perpetuate some kind of mythical joke) is expected to shoulder the load (pun intended) with fellow senior citizen, Tom Glavine, until another aging star, Pedro Martinez, returns from MAJOR surgery. In the meantime, the Yanks, Red Sox and Astros are all courting the ancient Roger Clemens, begging him to pitch for them whenever he feels like for 18 million dollars. Even Clemens has broken down in the past two years. So you see, Mama, don’t raise your sons to be cowboys – raise them to be pitchers… Your daughters, too! That’s it for today – check out the I Tunes podcasts – we’re working hard to make Good Matt Fun accessible for you wherever you go – and chime in below. New video will be marching out this week, as well. All we ask is that you visit often and pass the word along. See you tomorrow.
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How Philly Won |
One Of Our First
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ROY HOBBS ON STEROIDS??? |
MEAGHAN & JAKE: COOLEST FANS |
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Nobody Remembers The Loser |
Giant/Super Tuesday |
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MATTS-MATICS: Hockey Nuts Go At It |
See us on: "Law & Order" |
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MATT FACTS:
Plaxico Burress is no longer spokesman for Thigh Master. Chad Pennington is NOT a Brett Favre fan... Hillary Clinton and Don Nelson have never been seen in the same place... Jerry Manuel is not related to Charlie ManuelJerry Manuel is not related to Charlie Manuel... Somebody namd Michel coaches the Pittsburgh Penguins... Tiki Barber quit the Giants. The Giants then won the Super Bowl... The New England Patriots only lost ONE game out of 19!!! Aaron Heilman was actually funny in re to Eli and Plaxico Burress helping the Mets as a pitcher and outfielder, respectively. Repeat, Heilman was funny... Jessica Simpson would rather date Tom Brady - trust us... Eli Manning is better than Archie - now... Alyssa Milano is a Met fan. RRRRR... Rickey Henderson speaks in the 3rd Person... Shawn Green has big ears... Howard Johnson likes to stay at the Holiday Inn, ironically... Sandy Alomar, Sr. is the youngest of 9 kids. That's why he was quick around the dish. Jiminy Cricket was the Philly Phanatic in a previous life…Fred Wilpon is pals with Sandy Koufax... Mike Ditka is a really tough guy.. Buffalo has a Triple A baseball team. They are NOT called The Snowballs... Chan Ho Park has people thinking of naming a ballfield after him - it would be called Chan Ho Park Park... John Maine has never been, oddly enough, to Maine... Curt Gowdy, Jr. has never been to Yellow Knife, Canada... Kevin Mitchell played 6 positions for the Mets in '86 and, according to Doc Gooden's book, didn't like cats... John Olerud & Wayne Gretzky have never been seen in the same place... Kevin McReynolds now makes his living doing laugh tracks for sit-coms... Tony Gwynn is nearing 300 lbs... Carlos Beltran has Mercedes Benz dealerships named for him in Barcelona, Spain... Willie Montanez was called Guillermo by Lenny Randle... Rusty Staub beat Jeff Kent in a race – TODAY... Jay Horwitz is a dynamite Cricket players – somebody said... Jeff Wilpon was a decent minor league catcher... Ziggy Palfy lives in Slovakia and is a big Met fan... Superman Returns, yet still can’t hit Billy Wagner... David Wright will win the Triple Crown – on a horse... Omar Minaya is Tobey McGuire’s stunt-double in Spider Man 3... Hilary Clinton has Mr. Met pajamas – we think... Albert Einstein was a HUGE Met fan... The Metropolitan Opera House was named for the Mets after their 2nd season in ’63... Wally Backman, ’86 sparkplug, considered changing his name to Wally Back-Matt... Neil Allen and Mike Stanton, former Mets, have Allen & Stanton Streets on Lower East Side named for them.
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