|
MATTS-MATICS: NY Jets vs NY Rangers |
BRAVE Fan Talks REDSKINS
|
 |
 |
< body>
|
|
|
SABRES, PENS, SHOTGUNS & METS |
BILL BUCKNER WAS INNOCENT |
 |
 |
|
|
|
Spring Break Training PART I |
Spring Break Training PART II |
 |
 |
|
|
|
| You are not authorized to post a reply.
|
|
| Author |
Messages |
|
TheMatts
Posts:1642
 |
| 11-16-2008 - SelecA - |
 Alert
|
| HOTSTOVIA, WISCONSIN - You may not have guessed that Hoststovia was in Wisconsin Walt's home state but rest assured, it is. What with Ben "$oiled" Sheets and Cash Cow Sabathia both seeking ‘greener’ pa$ture$, decimating the on-the-rise Brew Crew's pitching staff and, ultimately, the team - there can be no doubt. Call us crazy but wouldn't it be downright heroic if these two, considering the State Of The Union, accepted ten tons of cash rather than eleven tons of cash to stay in Milwaukee? Think about that for a second. Both are going to be filthy rich. Both will never want for a thing ever again, financially. They are in a win-win situation. Why not be rich and magical? Why not be wealthy and instantaneously legendary? For this opportunity - the opportunity to shine through a national gloom so dismal that the NFL cut playoff tickets by 10%, does not come often. Or so we hope. Moreover, it's all there for the perfect feel-good Hollywood movie: A blue collar town in great need of a lift gets it from two unlikely heroes; two contemporary athletes named C.C. and Ben. Talk about a rescue or a bailout! This could conceivably mean just as much as that cool 700 billion that we're trying to spend correctly. A move like this would energize and bring hope not just to one small-market sports town - it would lift a nation. It would raise the bar and set the tone for the other soon-to-be disgustingly rich like F-Rod (his name begins with an F), Texiera and Peavy. Call us naive but we say it would ignite a feeling of, "Hey, we're all in this together." $abathia and $heets would become household names. They would be knighted by John Q. Fan. Parades would be held in their honor. Kids would want their jerseys. Parents would buy their kids their jerseys. WE'D BUY THEIR JERSEYS! It would be great!!! Wait, Matt is signaling from across the rooftop studio: Hemorrhaging Hank just upped the offer to $abathia and Atlanta is going hard at $heets. Bud Selig isn't taking Matt's call and the Brewers just announced a ticket increase. “Drat!” as Charlie Brown would appropriately exclaim. Buy hey, all is not lost - the Rangers beat Boston, the Jets and Giants are in first and the Knicks are over .500! But it sure would be nice if… Oh, forget it. On that note, we'll leave you with Rex's Picks: Take the Ravens to cover, though the Jints will win. Packers to declaw the Bears and the Cowboys to roll with Romo. |
|
|
|
Officer Bob
Posts:54
|
| 11-16-2008 - SelecA - |
Alert
|
| Matts, you guys smoking the funny stuff lately? Wow... Anyway, was at Ranger win over Bruins. Best game I've ever been to. Intense. Lundquist is a freak of nature. |
|
|
|
Linda
Posts:102
|
| 11-16-2008 - SelecA - |
Alert
|
| It so out of control that these execs flaunt this money around in our faces as we all struggle. I am not saying that we should be socialists but some discretion is in order. Keep it low key. |
|
|
|
vincent
Posts:148
|
| 11-16-2008 - SelecA - |
Alert
|
| I like the idea Matts but Officer Bob is right for suspecting you guys for being on something. Nice Charile Brown expression. And Rex, you finally write to decent columns in a row and take a week off??? Your the prima donna of Meet the Matts. |
|
|
|
Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson
Posts:31
|
| 11-16-2008 - SelecA - |
Alert
|
| Quite frankly, I find it repulsive that you refer to these plebes as kings to be feted as heroes! They are nothing more than American aristocracy - the Kennedys. That is to say they are nuevo riche borne from dubious libations and alarming behaviour. |
|
|
|
Nick C
Posts:138
|
| 11-16-2008 - SelecA - |
Alert
|
| Mayor Johnson, you might be right but at least we ain't spending millions on a figure head monarchy with Camilla Bowles as the scandal maker. We had Marilyn Monroe for our Camelot. |
|
|
|
|
| You are not authorized to post a reply. |
|
|
|
ActiveForums 3.6
|
|
How Philly Won |
One Of Our First
|
 |
 |
< body>
|
|
|
ROY HOBBS ON STEROIDS??? |
MEAGHAN & JAKE: COOLEST FANS |
 |
 |
|
|
|
Nobody Remembers The Loser |
Giant/Super Tuesday |
 |
 |
|
|
|
MATTS-MATICS: Hockey Nuts Go At It |
See us on: "Law & Order" |
 |
 |
|
|
MATT FACTS:
Plaxico Burress is no longer spokesman for Thigh Master. Chad Pennington is NOT a Brett Favre fan... Hillary Clinton and Don Nelson have never been seen in the same place... Jerry Manuel is not related to Charlie ManuelJerry Manuel is not related to Charlie Manuel... Somebody namd Michel coaches the Pittsburgh Penguins... Tiki Barber quit the Giants. The Giants then won the Super Bowl... The New England Patriots only lost ONE game out of 19!!! Aaron Heilman was actually funny in re to Eli and Plaxico Burress helping the Mets as a pitcher and outfielder, respectively. Repeat, Heilman was funny... Jessica Simpson would rather date Tom Brady - trust us... Eli Manning is better than Archie - now... Alyssa Milano is a Met fan. RRRRR... Rickey Henderson speaks in the 3rd Person... Shawn Green has big ears... Howard Johnson likes to stay at the Holiday Inn, ironically... Sandy Alomar, Sr. is the youngest of 9 kids. That's why he was quick around the dish. Jiminy Cricket was the Philly Phanatic in a previous life…Fred Wilpon is pals with Sandy Koufax... Mike Ditka is a really tough guy.. Buffalo has a Triple A baseball team. They are NOT called The Snowballs... Chan Ho Park has people thinking of naming a ballfield after him - it would be called Chan Ho Park Park... John Maine has never been, oddly enough, to Maine... Curt Gowdy, Jr. has never been to Yellow Knife, Canada... Kevin Mitchell played 6 positions for the Mets in '86 and, according to Doc Gooden's book, didn't like cats... John Olerud & Wayne Gretzky have never been seen in the same place... Kevin McReynolds now makes his living doing laugh tracks for sit-coms... Tony Gwynn is nearing 300 lbs... Carlos Beltran has Mercedes Benz dealerships named for him in Barcelona, Spain... Willie Montanez was called Guillermo by Lenny Randle... Rusty Staub beat Jeff Kent in a race – TODAY... Jay Horwitz is a dynamite Cricket players – somebody said... Jeff Wilpon was a decent minor league catcher... Ziggy Palfy lives in Slovakia and is a big Met fan... Superman Returns, yet still can’t hit Billy Wagner... David Wright will win the Triple Crown – on a horse... Omar Minaya is Tobey McGuire’s stunt-double in Spider Man 3... Hilary Clinton has Mr. Met pajamas – we think... Albert Einstein was a HUGE Met fan... The Metropolitan Opera House was named for the Mets after their 2nd season in ’63... Wally Backman, ’86 sparkplug, considered changing his name to Wally Back-Matt... Neil Allen and Mike Stanton, former Mets, have Allen & Stanton Streets on Lower East Side named for them.
|