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MATTS-MATICS: NY Jets vs NY Rangers |
BRAVE Fan Talks REDSKINS
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SABRES, PENS, SHOTGUNS & METS |
BILL BUCKNER WAS INNOCENT |
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Spring Break Training PART I |
Spring Break Training PART II |
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TheMatts
Posts:1642
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| 10-11-2008 - SelecA - |
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| ST. PETERSBURG, FL – The Red Sox won a playoff game here last night. That’s not a misprint and it’s not because Boston was displaced by a hurricane and needed a non-baseball, neutral city to call home. No. The Tampa Bay Rays were in the playoffs. See, they won the American League East. We’re not certain but we believe this development was predicted by St. Peter, ironically enough, and later reinforced by longtime MTM favorite, Snake Plissken, in Ernest Borgnine’s broken down taxi. (Our staff is scouring transcripts from The Holy Bible, ‘Escape From NY’ and ‘Escape From LA’ as we type). Also, we couldn’t help but notice how eerily similar St. Pete is to the futuristic NYC and L.A. depictions in John Carpenter’s movies; the streets are desolate at night, seedy characters fade in and out of the darkness and an evil force permeates – the Red Sox. We thought our beloved Big Red Dog - Cliff Floyd – might be a Plissken Du Jour and triumph over the Beantown Bullies, but he grounded into a double play. But back to the Rays: It wasn’t until this week that we truly grasped the reality that they don’t actually play in Tampa Bay - they play in the dumpier town of St. Pete. Talk about a missed opportunity! After having already dismissed the ‘Devil’ in their makeup, they could and should have taken their renaming one step further and called themselves St. Peter’s Rays. Fans could dress like baseball apostles; players could deny stealing signs (three times), bullpen doors could part like the Red Sea – wait, that was Charlton Heston… Anyway, the marketing and promotional possibilities would have been endless. Yet, here we are in downtown St.Pete/Tampa, rooting for a team playing in a basketball arena, named for a different city and wearing uniforms that we constantly confuse with the Jays, hoping against hope that they can derail the latest Evil Empire. Go Scott Kazmir!!! That’s all for today, chime in below, tell TWO people about us today and look for Rex O’Rourke tomorrow. |
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Ed Nelson
Posts:206
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| 10-11-2008 - SelecA - |
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| They'd have to have fish specials galore in the concession stands - St. Peter was a fisherman you know. |
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TheMatts
Posts:1642
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| 10-11-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Ed Nelson you are a genius! Matt and I would scream 'Holy mackeral!' on every great play... |
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Linda
Posts:102
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| 10-11-2008 - SelecA - |
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| They had Dice K on the ropes about a hundred times and couldn't do anything. Cliff killed them last night. |
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Yankee Joe
Posts:406
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| 10-11-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Doesn't matter who wins, the AL Beast will win the World Series AGAIN!!! |
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vincent
Posts:148
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| 10-11-2008 - SelecA - |
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| I don't know who to root for now. I can't root for the Phillies because of the Phanatica and I can't root for the AL East because of Yankee Joe. That leaves me with Manny. Ugh. |
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ActiveForums 3.6
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How Philly Won |
One Of Our First
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ROY HOBBS ON STEROIDS??? |
MEAGHAN & JAKE: COOLEST FANS |
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Nobody Remembers The Loser |
Giant/Super Tuesday |
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MATTS-MATICS: Hockey Nuts Go At It |
See us on: "Law & Order" |
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MATT FACTS:
Plaxico Burress is no longer spokesman for Thigh Master. Chad Pennington is NOT a Brett Favre fan... Hillary Clinton and Don Nelson have never been seen in the same place... Jerry Manuel is not related to Charlie ManuelJerry Manuel is not related to Charlie Manuel... Somebody namd Michel coaches the Pittsburgh Penguins... Tiki Barber quit the Giants. The Giants then won the Super Bowl... The New England Patriots only lost ONE game out of 19!!! Aaron Heilman was actually funny in re to Eli and Plaxico Burress helping the Mets as a pitcher and outfielder, respectively. Repeat, Heilman was funny... Jessica Simpson would rather date Tom Brady - trust us... Eli Manning is better than Archie - now... Alyssa Milano is a Met fan. RRRRR... Rickey Henderson speaks in the 3rd Person... Shawn Green has big ears... Howard Johnson likes to stay at the Holiday Inn, ironically... Sandy Alomar, Sr. is the youngest of 9 kids. That's why he was quick around the dish. Jiminy Cricket was the Philly Phanatic in a previous life…Fred Wilpon is pals with Sandy Koufax... Mike Ditka is a really tough guy.. Buffalo has a Triple A baseball team. They are NOT called The Snowballs... Chan Ho Park has people thinking of naming a ballfield after him - it would be called Chan Ho Park Park... John Maine has never been, oddly enough, to Maine... Curt Gowdy, Jr. has never been to Yellow Knife, Canada... Kevin Mitchell played 6 positions for the Mets in '86 and, according to Doc Gooden's book, didn't like cats... John Olerud & Wayne Gretzky have never been seen in the same place... Kevin McReynolds now makes his living doing laugh tracks for sit-coms... Tony Gwynn is nearing 300 lbs... Carlos Beltran has Mercedes Benz dealerships named for him in Barcelona, Spain... Willie Montanez was called Guillermo by Lenny Randle... Rusty Staub beat Jeff Kent in a race – TODAY... Jay Horwitz is a dynamite Cricket players – somebody said... Jeff Wilpon was a decent minor league catcher... Ziggy Palfy lives in Slovakia and is a big Met fan... Superman Returns, yet still can’t hit Billy Wagner... David Wright will win the Triple Crown – on a horse... Omar Minaya is Tobey McGuire’s stunt-double in Spider Man 3... Hilary Clinton has Mr. Met pajamas – we think... Albert Einstein was a HUGE Met fan... The Metropolitan Opera House was named for the Mets after their 2nd season in ’63... Wally Backman, ’86 sparkplug, considered changing his name to Wally Back-Matt... Neil Allen and Mike Stanton, former Mets, have Allen & Stanton Streets on Lower East Side named for them.
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