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Subject: ANGRY WARD WEDNESDAY: A REMEMBRANCE OF PROGNOSTICATIONS PAST

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ANGRYWARD
Posts:690

08-27-2008 - SelecA - Alert 
Hindsight, HI– After yesterday's long day's journey into second place, there's plenty to be angry about but really nothing that we haven't already covered this season ad nauseam. As the Mets head into the dreaded homestretch, we can only hope that it doesn't turn into the "homestench" that was last year. In the meantime, for diversion purposes, I thought I’d take a look back at the predictions I made here back before the season started, on March 26th. Some were completely off base, but others were eerily prescient... in their own way. Let’s take it from the top: NL Division Winners: I had the Mets in the East, Cubs in the Central and the Padres way out West. The first two are still very strong possibilities, but my friend AZ Crazy was right when he took me to task for endorsing the Pod People. Anyway, I saved a little face by tabbing the Brewers as the wild card. All in all, my NL picks weren’t too bad. In the AL, I had the Sox in the East, the Tigers in the Central, and the Angels in the West. You can’t kill me for not having the Rays. Did anyone? Sox may still make it but maybe jgClancy is right and two teams will emerge from the Central, neither of which would be the bloated, pitching deficient Tigers. My AL wildcard was equally horrendous: Seattle. Recently canned GM Bill Bavasi did such a number on this team that they may not be competitive for another three or four years. Both of my Cy Young selections could have been legitimate contenders if their teams cooperated. Johan Santana has a stellar 2.64 era but only a 12-7 record. If the Mets offense and pen had done their respective jobs, Johan would be looking at something like 17 wins now. My AL choice, Roy Halladay, has had almost identical problems and stats. He’s got a 2.69 era and a record of 16-9. But he’d still be hard pressed to top Cleveland’s Cliff Lee who is 19-2 with a 2.43 on an awful team. But enough of the boring stuff, let’s see how some of my other predictions fared. Current comments will appear in parentheses. 1. In the middle of a 5-game Yankees losing streak, Hank Steinbrenner slugs a reporter. (Didn’t happen. Instead, in the middle of a 4 game losing streak, Hank gave up on the season. Who knew he was such a wuss?) 2. After the All-Star break the geezers from the movie “Cocoon” show up at Shea and offer to take El Duque back with them. (Has anyone seen him lately? I rest my case.) 3. Curt Schilling announces his retirement in July and agrees to become John McCain’s running mate. (This still can happen.) 4. Jose Reyes fails to run out a ground ball, Carlos Delgado fails to run out a fly ball, and Carlos Beltran fails in the clutch. (OK, these were easy. But Reyes and Delgado are playing pretty decent ball. Beltran is still a stiff though.) 5. Andruw Jones stinks. (Bullseye!) 6. Joe Torre does not lead the Dodgers to the playoffs. Afterwards he blasts team ownership saying “What do you expect for a measly $115 million dollar payroll? I need players!!” (They look like they’ll miss the playoffs, but at least Joe padded his payroll with Manny.) 7. The Baltimore Orioles lose 100 games. (Dead wrong and I apologize.) 8. Phillies Manager Charlie Manuel gets bested by a clever fern on the new FOX show: “Are You Smarter than a House Plant?” (Look for this show in the FOX fall lineup, after the Phils miss the playoffs.) 9. Shelley Duncan tests positive for Human Goober Hormone and is optioned to the Appalachian League. (See El Duque comment.) 10. White Sox skipper Ozzie Guillen goes after his entire pitching staff with a machete. (Wrong again, but he still may chase an umpire with a machete before the season’s over.) 11. Moises Alou injures himself without moving a muscle, gets written up in the New England Journal of Medicine. (Bingo!) 12. Rex O’Rourke fulfills a lifelong dream and becomes a NASA astronaut. His space career is cut short after he boycotts a joint mission with the Chinese and is immediately dumped from the program. (I still have hope for Rex the astronaut. His homespun wisdom needs to be beamed into outerspace.) 13. Alex Rodriguez divorces his wife and announces plans to marry himself in an unprecedented same-sex/same-person ceremony. (This one is scary. Predicted months before any of the Madonna stuff.) 14. Ichiro Suzuki hits in 50 consecutive games. (Nope, but he will get his usual 200-plus hits.) 15. After Ben Sheets goes on the DL, Brett Favre signs with the Milwaukee Brewers and miraculously pitches a no-hitter against the Braves. His next start, he hits 5 Giants batters and announces his retirement from baseball. (Favre did return, so I have to get some points for that.) 16. SNY hires the Matts to do a Kiner’s Korner-like post-game interview show called “Meet the Matts.” (Hasn’t happened. And I'm pissed. Instead SNY shows hour after hour of “Beer Money” with a man whose face should not even be on radio. I’m sorry, I know the Matts want to make nice with SNY but enough is enough. Don’t these guys at least merit a look?) 17. Upset with her husband Kris, Anna Benson sleeps with everyone on the Phillies, our own Phillie Phanatic, and the fern that outsmarted Charlie Manuel. (Phanatic, can you confirm or deny?) One final note, there's a good chance I won't be able to post next week. (I promise I have a good excuse for my absence.) With Grote on vacation, I'd like to tab may man Wisconsin Walt as my replacement. If WW can't do it, then perhaps we can get our midwest musings from jgclancy. I'll keep you posted.
PhillyPhanatic
Posts:552

08-27-2008 - SelecA - Alert 
With Anna tiring of being married to a minor league pitcher, we cuddled last night and watched deja vu all over again in a condensed version as the Mets blew a 7 run lead with 17 outs to go.

I had to get that one in before tonight's mismatch and the Mets taking back first place.
My prediction, Matt and replacement Matt #4 will get doused with beer and hot dogs tonight.
Janet
Posts:203

08-27-2008 - SelecA - Alert 
Thank you for not just venting about the loss and making us laugh, Ward. You are amazin'!!!
Cookie
Posts:592

08-27-2008 - SelecA - Alert 
Damn you're good Ward (but then again.. we already knew that). I don't know where you got that crystal ball from.. but you'd better not drop it or lend it out.

I would say that I was hoping your Cubbie prediction to be true.. and alas.. it is. The Schilling prediction was kinda a slam dunk... but I am hoping that the latter part is not true as McCain still hasn't announced his running mate.

I couldn't agree more on 'Beer Money.' That dude looks like the ugly cousin of Uncle Fester (and that is an insult to Fester).

No one pegged an old Mussina for 16 wins... right? Come on Mutts.. even 'you gotta' applaud this.

Anyone give a prediction on what happens to Jerry Manuel if the Mutts don't make it to the post??
AZ Crazy
Posts:57

08-27-2008 - SelecA - Alert 
AW--Hoping you have a guest-poster next week! I hope that whoever comes in for you doesn't blow the save!

By the way, don't back off from your Padres prediction. The top of the division is rapidly fading away thanks to my life-less DBacks.
vincent
Posts:137

08-27-2008 - SelecA - Alert 
The shows on SNY are AWFUL. Matts, we need to get you guys on and FAST. Somebody needs to take the heat off the players and loosen them up - especially the bullpen. Argh! AW - you are my idol!
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MATT FACTS:
Chad Pennington is NOT a Brett Favre fan... Hillary Clinton and Don Nelson have never been  seen in the same place... Jerry Manuel is not related to Charlie ManuelJerry Manuel is not related to Charlie Manuel... Somebody namd Michel coaches the Pittsburgh Penguins... Tiki Barber quit the Giants. The Giants then won the Super Bowl... The New England Patriots only lost ONE game out of 19!!! Aaron Heilman was actually funny in re to Eli and Plaxico Burress helping the Mets as a pitcher and outfielder, respectively. Repeat, Heilman was funny... Jessica Simpson would rather date Tom Brady - trust us... Eli Manning is better than Archie - now... Alyssa Milano is a Met fan. RRRRR... Rickey Henderson speaks in the 3rd Person... Shawn Green has big ears... Howard Johnson likes to stay at the Holiday Inn, ironically... Sandy Alomar, Sr. is the youngest of 9 kids. That's why he was quick around the dish. Jiminy Cricket was  the Philly Phanatic in a previous life…Fred Wilpon is pals  with Sandy Koufax... Mike Ditka is a really tough guy.. Buffalo has a Triple A baseball team. They are NOT called The Snowballs... Chan Ho Park has people thinking of naming a ballfield after him - it would be called Chan Ho Park Park... John Maine has never been, oddly enough, to Maine... Curt Gowdy, Jr. has never been to Yellow Knife, Canada... Kevin Mitchell played 6 positions for the Mets in '86 and, according to Doc Gooden's book, didn't like cats... John Olerud & Wayne Gretzky have never been seen in the same place... Kevin McReynolds now makes his living doing laugh tracks for sit-coms... Tony Gwynn is nearing 300 lbs... Carlos Beltran has Mercedes Benz dealerships named for him in Barcelona, Spain... Willie Montanez was called Guillermo by Lenny Randle... Rusty Staub beat Jeff Kent in a race – TODAY... Jay Horwitz is a dynamite Cricket players – somebody said... Jeff Wilpon was a decent minor league catcher... Ziggy Palfy lives in Slovakia and is a big Met fan... Superman Returns, yet still can’t hit Billy Wagner... David Wright will win the Triple Crown – on a horse... Omar Minaya is Tobey McGuire’s stunt-double in Spider Man 3... Hilary Clinton has Mr. Met pajamas – we think... Albert Einstein was a HUGE Met fan... The Metropolitan Opera House was named for the Mets after their 2nd season in ’63... Wally Backman, ’86 sparkplug, considered changing his name to Wally Back-Matt... Neil Allen and Mike Stanton, former Mets, have Allen & Stanton Streets on Lower East Side named for them.

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