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MATTS-MATICS: NY Jets vs NY Rangers |
BRAVE Fan Talks REDSKINS
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SABRES, PENS, SHOTGUNS & METS |
BILL BUCKNER WAS INNOCENT |
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Spring Break Training PART I |
Spring Break Training PART II |
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TheMatts
Posts:1640
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| 07-24-2008 - SelecA - |
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NEW YORK, NY – Last night notwithstanding, just when we thought we were out of it, it sucks us back in. Seemingly recovered from the depression at streaks end, comfort in a 3-run lead, safe because Wagner couldn’t implode against his former mates and we’re back in delusional therapy. It doesn’t help that we have yet to find a broadcast outlet for our show, which should have happened eons ago. We have, sadly, been diagnosed with “Self as Center of the Narrative Universe Disorder”. So distraught at loses by our baseball team and no show, we essentially live vicariously through fictional characters (it has been identified through early detection methods that we are not fictional enough). We’re fictional characters of great wealth and power who are immune from life’s distractions and human foibles, without a care in the world.
You don’t understand. Meet the Matts don’t ever get that gig. The idea is great, it’ll make them stars but they’re gonna run us out the business. And we’ll tell you why. The Matts ruined the Mets bullpen. For years these pitchers were under contract – draftees, trades and non-roster invitees, A Ball, AA Ball, Triple A ball. They send millions of dollars on them. They are going to be stars of pen. And let’s be Frank Matts, just to show you that we’re not hard hearted and it’s not all dollars and cents. They were the best relievers money could buy and I’ve had a lot of relievers. Then the Matts come along with their bald heads and charming Irish wit and they fall off they edge of the world. They threw it all away just to make the Mets look ridiculous. And a team with this payroll can’t afford to be made to look ridiculous. Now get the hell out of here. And you tell those clowns that if they try any funny stuff, we ain’t laughing. Yeah, we heard that story.
There were a couple of kids, one a bit taller and another a bit taller. They looked up to each other. Did their first work together. Worked their way out of the street and into the stadium. Things were good. They made the most of it. During the 2006 season, they ran that DVX 100 into Shea…made a fortune, for themselves and their fathers. They loved and trusted each other. Later the two had an idea to build an empire out of Meet the Matts. Branch out from the Mets, cover the West Coast. Those kids where Matt and Matt. And what they invented- was Sports Comedy. They became great men, men of vision and guts. And there isn’t even a show on cable or a plaque or a signpost or statue of them anywhere. But someone took their camera away. No one knows who gave the order. When they banned us, we weren’t angry. We were head strong, talked loud said funny things. So when we stopped hearing from SNY, we said to ourselves. Let it go. And we said to ourselves this is the business we’ve chosen. We didn’t ask who gave the order, because it had nothing to do with business.
We need an offer we can’t refuse. Cookie in the on deck circle.
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Dude
Posts:620
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| 07-24-2008 - SelecA - |
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| had to read this one twice and i am still confused. but i am even more confused by why sny thinks that running garbage such as "loudmouths" is a thing to be proud of. two guys yelling about the yankees? i don't get it. am i alone? are there fans out there who think that "the bullpen" or whatever that other yelling show is called is good programming? i'd like to meet those people, and immediately order them to move. all the sports fans i know also appreciate humor. is a wedding of sports and funny so hard to grasp? i am at a loss. but what i am really trying to figure out is how the matts ruined the bullpen? no i know myself has been hard on the pen, but maybe i am wrong. their job is hard. to go out and pitch the ninth in front 50,000 people yelling and cursing and booing, its gotta get to ya. but at least the matts made us laugh about it. is this post an epitaph? i hope not. hey sny, i leave you with this thought: did you like the guy who yelled at you in school, or the guy who made you laugh? |
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Corporal Agorn
Posts:192
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| 07-24-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Well put Dude. This was some psychotic Matts ramblings today. Interesting read but yes confusing. That was a horrible loss the other day and yes, why can't the Matts be on SNY at this point. The programming grows in quantity and shrinks in quality. Is that how you want to run a network? |
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david
Posts:445
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| 07-24-2008 - SelecA - |
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| i smell a little re-writing of a film trilogy in one of the more twisted ways. sorry that you're off the deep end. come on back to reality friends, i can't say you're going to get a show (though you're well deserving) but the mets aren't all that bad and that was just one game and yesterday kinda washed it away for me. |
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West Coast Craig
Posts:287
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| 07-24-2008 - SelecA - |
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| So this was the best piece of bullpen you ever had, and you've had them all over the world? Is some SNY exec going to wake up with Billy Wagner's head in his bed? |
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TheMatts
Posts:1640
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| 07-24-2008 - SelecA - |
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David and West Coast Craig have solved the riddle.
We gave you a little Michael Corleone from GF III. A little Jack Woltz from GF I. A little Hyman Roth from GF II and finally a little Vito Corleone with the "offer he can't refuse." In these dog days of summer, covering the season drags on us all a bit so we like to mix it up and keep it interesting. Not that we're not bummed about both issues. We're so blessed to have the writers we have here and the great posters who chime in faithfully. |
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ActiveForums 3.6
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How Philly Won |
One Of Our First
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ROY HOBBS ON STEROIDS??? |
MEAGHAN & JAKE: COOLEST FANS |
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Nobody Remembers The Loser |
Giant/Super Tuesday |
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MATTS-MATICS: Hockey Nuts Go At It |
See us on: "Law & Order" |
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MATT FACTS:
Plaxico Burress is no longer spokesman for Thigh Master. Chad Pennington is NOT a Brett Favre fan... Hillary Clinton and Don Nelson have never been seen in the same place... Jerry Manuel is not related to Charlie ManuelJerry Manuel is not related to Charlie Manuel... Somebody namd Michel coaches the Pittsburgh Penguins... Tiki Barber quit the Giants. The Giants then won the Super Bowl... The New England Patriots only lost ONE game out of 19!!! Aaron Heilman was actually funny in re to Eli and Plaxico Burress helping the Mets as a pitcher and outfielder, respectively. Repeat, Heilman was funny... Jessica Simpson would rather date Tom Brady - trust us... Eli Manning is better than Archie - now... Alyssa Milano is a Met fan. RRRRR... Rickey Henderson speaks in the 3rd Person... Shawn Green has big ears... Howard Johnson likes to stay at the Holiday Inn, ironically... Sandy Alomar, Sr. is the youngest of 9 kids. That's why he was quick around the dish. Jiminy Cricket was the Philly Phanatic in a previous life…Fred Wilpon is pals with Sandy Koufax... Mike Ditka is a really tough guy.. Buffalo has a Triple A baseball team. They are NOT called The Snowballs... Chan Ho Park has people thinking of naming a ballfield after him - it would be called Chan Ho Park Park... John Maine has never been, oddly enough, to Maine... Curt Gowdy, Jr. has never been to Yellow Knife, Canada... Kevin Mitchell played 6 positions for the Mets in '86 and, according to Doc Gooden's book, didn't like cats... John Olerud & Wayne Gretzky have never been seen in the same place... Kevin McReynolds now makes his living doing laugh tracks for sit-coms... Tony Gwynn is nearing 300 lbs... Carlos Beltran has Mercedes Benz dealerships named for him in Barcelona, Spain... Willie Montanez was called Guillermo by Lenny Randle... Rusty Staub beat Jeff Kent in a race – TODAY... Jay Horwitz is a dynamite Cricket players – somebody said... Jeff Wilpon was a decent minor league catcher... Ziggy Palfy lives in Slovakia and is a big Met fan... Superman Returns, yet still can’t hit Billy Wagner... David Wright will win the Triple Crown – on a horse... Omar Minaya is Tobey McGuire’s stunt-double in Spider Man 3... Hilary Clinton has Mr. Met pajamas – we think... Albert Einstein was a HUGE Met fan... The Metropolitan Opera House was named for the Mets after their 2nd season in ’63... Wally Backman, ’86 sparkplug, considered changing his name to Wally Back-Matt... Neil Allen and Mike Stanton, former Mets, have Allen & Stanton Streets on Lower East Side named for them.
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