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Spring Break Training PART I |
Spring Break Training PART II |
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SABRES, PENS, SHOTGUNS & METS |
BILL BUCKNER WAS INNOCENT |
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TheMatts
Posts:1459
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| 07-17-2008 - SelecA - |
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YANKEE STADIUM, NY – This post was going to summarize the Yankees 1st half but the heck with that. The All-Star Game was far too interesting and worthy of attention. Let’s dispense with the accolades to begin with. Yes, it was a great event and week put on by MLB and Yankee Stadium. Yes, seeing all of the Hall of Famers at their positions with the current All-Stars was goose bump inducing. Yes. The game itself was played hard, was exciting and had an all too familiar outcome. Now onto the red carpet review:
LOU PINELLA: Are you and Tony Gywnn shopping together? Also, someone needs to tell Lou that it’s unbecoming to twitch and rock back and forth in the dugout muttering to oneself. There is help out there.
DAN UGGLA: 3 strikeouts – Uggla. 3 errors including back-to-back – very Uggla. Accidentally spitting on yourself after the first error – Priceless. AL MVP.
WRIGHT & WAGNER: Doing the Mets proud. NOT! Well, at least Wright managed a hit after 2 strikeouts on 7 pitches. Wagner? He was Wagnerian. We’re in trouble if we’re riding his back the rest of the way.
DEREK JETER: A future immortal with a mortal game.
AROD: Was he in the stadium after the 5th? Best Harry Houdini disappearing act since Doug Henning. Actually, Arod had a 10p nude singles pinochle tournament at the Park Avenue Kabbalah Center.
RUSSELL MARTIN: Can we get a guy like that? Single-handedly kept the NL in the game.
GEORGE STEINBRENNER: Crying? Crying! For God’s sake now we have to like this mean old geezer?
WHITEY & YOGI: Did you guys actually KISS the Boss? EW!
HANK STEINBRENNER: Left the golf cart after witnessing his father weeping. Last seen muttering “ queer” on River Avenue and 161st Street.
EDINSON VOLQUEZ: First of all, Edinson is not a real name. Secondly, straighten out that friggin’ cap. Lastly, you’re knoby and you blow!
JONATHAN PAPELBON: Sure he has a face you want to punch but New York fans treated him with the vile behavior. Did anyone READ the article about him where he lauded Mariano Rivera? Of course it’s not in the Daily News, they eliminated those parts.
JOSH HAMILTON: “This was week was cool and all but it’s still not as cool as heroin.”
BRAD LIDGE: Please keep that up for the remainder of the season. Pointers from Billy are coming next week.
MIGUEL TEJADA: The Clean or the Clear?
MANNY RAMIREZ: Did NOT beat up any of the elderly Hall of Famers.
AARON COOK: Was Clint Hurdle trying to kill him? We understand the pen was thin at that point but you had to feel bad for Cook.
MILTON BRADLEY: The Ambien kicked on. The player picked off.
JUSTIN MORNEAU: Somehow you knew he was going to be involved in the outcome of the game on the winning side. When is he a free agent?
CANADIAN NATIONAL ANTHEM: Speaking of Justin Morneau, this song was tape-recorded? What’s that abOOt?
SHERYL CROW: Which major leaguer is she sleeping with?
TOM SEAVER: Where was he? Stomping grapes with Keith Hernandez?
TIM LINCECUM: First a whooping by the Mike Pelfrey-lead Mets and then in New York Presbyterian Hospital during the All-Star game. Bad week.
BRIAN WILSON: Looks good for a washed up, strung out Beach Boy.
BRETT FAVRE: Pantywaist.
Sorry, we had to throw that one in for good measure. Sam’s-a-Fan gets his slot tomorrow!
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ANGRYWARD
Posts:515
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| 07-17-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Funny post Matts, but I thought the Josh Hamilton line was a bit much. In his dark shades with his head bobbling all over the place, George Steinbrenner looked like he was auditioning for Weekend at Bernies III: Lost in the Bronx. Looking forward to Sam's post tomorrow. |
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Cookie
Posts:375
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| 07-17-2008 - SelecA - |
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Ok kids.. who took No-Doze and stayed up for the duration of this?? Not me. And speaking of... the pre-game cermonies... oh my god. The intro and close ups of the old timers was good. Did anyone see how gigantic Wade Boggs' head was?? Yeesh!!
Hey Matts... you got your 'EZ's' confused. That would be Pedro MartinEZ not beating up any old timers. And I am kinda glad that you're not doing the Yankee mid-season assessment. Give it another week to see which Yanks team is showing up for the 2nd half.
Did anyone else notice that Pujols is getting extremely thick?? He had an excess of junk in his trunk.
I'm also ooking forward to the big SAF post tomorrow. Bring it on!!
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Phil's brother
Posts:80
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| 07-17-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Love it. Red carpet celebrity trashing All-Star Edition. I couldn't hang in there but once again the NL comes up coughing blood. I understand it motivates the players just a bit more to play for something but an exhibition game affecting the World Series is nutz |
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Corporal Agorn
Posts:161
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| 07-17-2008 - SelecA - |
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I know, they can play for used celebrity underwear.
They're busy in it anyway. I would LOVE to know where ARod went after he left. Classless as usual. |
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TheMatts
Posts:1459
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| 07-17-2008 - SelecP - |
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Cookie - we are dedicated to our sport so we took turns napping but one of us was always watching. And, of course, Manny recently roughed up the Red Sox traveling secretary who couldn't provide him with as many tickets for the Sox-Astros series as he'd like.
PB - We too think that baseball needs to re-address home field advantage for the World Series.
CA - We don't think undies should be part of the equation. |
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ActiveForums 3.6
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ROY HOBBS ON STEROIDS??? |
MEAGHAN & JAKE: COOLEST FANS |
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Nobody Remembers The Loser |
Giant/Super Tuesday |
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MATTS-MATICS: Hockey Nuts Go At It |
See us on: "Law & Order" |
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MATT FACTS:
Chad Pennington is NOT a Brett Favre fan... Hillary Clinton and Don Nelson have never been seen in the same place... Jerry Manuel is not related to Charlie ManuelJerry Manuel is not related to Charlie Manuel... Somebody namd Michel coaches the Pittsburgh Penguins... Tiki Barber quit the Giants. The Giants then won the Super Bowl... The New England Patriots only lost ONE game out of 19!!! Aaron Heilman was actually funny in re to Eli and Plaxico Burress helping the Mets as a pitcher and outfielder, respectively. Repeat, Heilman was funny... Jessica Simpson would rather date Tom Brady - trust us... Eli Manning is better than Archie - now... Alyssa Milano is a Met fan. RRRRR... Rickey Henderson speaks in the 3rd Person... Shawn Green has big ears... Howard Johnson likes to stay at the Holiday Inn, ironically... Sandy Alomar, Sr. is the youngest of 9 kids. That's why he was quick around the dish. Jiminy Cricket was the Philly Phanatic in a previous life…Fred Wilpon is pals with Sandy Koufax... Mike Ditka is a really tough guy.. Buffalo has a Triple A baseball team. They are NOT called The Snowballs... Chan Ho Park has people thinking of naming a ballfield after him - it would be called Chan Ho Park Park... John Maine has never been, oddly enough, to Maine... Curt Gowdy, Jr. has never been to Yellow Knife, Canada... Kevin Mitchell played 6 positions for the Mets in '86 and, according to Doc Gooden's book, didn't like cats... John Olerud & Wayne Gretzky have never been seen in the same place... Kevin McReynolds now makes his living doing laugh tracks for sit-coms... Tony Gwynn is nearing 300 lbs... Carlos Beltran has Mercedes Benz dealerships named for him in Barcelona, Spain... Willie Montanez was called Guillermo by Lenny Randle... Rusty Staub beat Jeff Kent in a race – TODAY... Jay Horwitz is a dynamite Cricket players – somebody said... Jeff Wilpon was a decent minor league catcher... Ziggy Palfy lives in Slovakia and is a big Met fan... Superman Returns, yet still can’t hit Billy Wagner... David Wright will win the Triple Crown – on a horse... Omar Minaya is Tobey McGuire’s stunt-double in Spider Man 3... Hilary Clinton has Mr. Met pajamas – we think... Albert Einstein was a HUGE Met fan... The Metropolitan Opera House was named for the Mets after their 2nd season in ’63... Wally Backman, ’86 sparkplug, considered changing his name to Wally Back-Matt... Neil Allen and Mike Stanton, former Mets, have Allen & Stanton Streets on Lower East Side named for them.
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