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Spring Break Training PART I |
Spring Break Training PART II |
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SABRES, PENS, SHOTGUNS & METS |
BILL BUCKNER WAS INNOCENT |
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Cookie
Posts:480
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| 07-11-2008 - SelecA - |
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CHUNKYTOWN, USA -- After July 4th, I checked the scale for the damage. Phew! I was up only one pound after another U.S. holiday that centers on eating. Like most of us, my concern with putting on weight is purely vain. And while not many of us are being paid large to perform with our physiques (except for those MTM fans in the adult entertainment industry)—professional baseball players are. And, these boys of summer are paid…HANDSOMELY. To be blunt, some of them need to take the feedbag off and realize that their bread and butter could use a little margarine substitution.
The largest (no pun intended) group of obese offenders seems to be pitchers. Over the years, we’ve had a few jolly good hurlers with Santa-esque bellies to match. As a young lass growing up in the 80’s—I remember ‘Fernandomania.’ I was stunned that somehow, this rotund, sweaty man managed to start his rookie season with an 8-0 record, 0.50 ERA and four shut outs. With a delivery that had him looking skyward before the release, one wonders if El Toro was looking for a giant burrito in the sky or just trying to distract people from looking at his gut busting out of the Dodgers uniform. While he was listed as 5’11” and 195lbs—I’d say he was as much under 200lbs. as El Duque is under age forty.
The star heavyweight of late is the newest Brewer-- C.C. Sabathia. C.C. had a great season last year, despite carrying around extra weight that likely benefitted him more during his days as a College Football tight end. (Unfortunately, there’s usually not much that’s tight about most tight ends.) At 6’7” and 290lbs., he’s the heaviest of the MLB’s pitching heavies. I’d venture to guess C.C. might stand for ‘Colossal Cholesterol’ as that number has surely got to be higher than his weight. After a ’07 season of 19-7, a 6-8 record got him snatched up by the Brewers. Frankly, that trade had me thinking maybe the Brew Crew got into the brew a little too much. But for now, he’s got one win as part of the Brew Crew capped with a celebratory beer shower (most of which was likely caught in his mouth). Don’t be mistaken though, he will suffer an injury, perhaps a result of all that weight careening down on his knees at the end of that sloppy delivery. Lucky for C.C., he’s got a huge tattoo of his name across his back, so despite what the future may hold, (as they say in Boston) he’ll always go where ‘everybody knows his name.’
There are many players past and present we could send a complimentary case of Slim Fast. (Hey, that Tommy Lasorda was onto something.) A few recent ones worth mentioning are David Wells, Sidney Ponson, Lance ‘Big Puma’ or ‘Fat Elvis’ Berkman, Prince Fielder (who’s ‘Big Daddy’ Cecil wasn’t missing too many square meals either), and of course, David ‘Big Papi’ Ortiz. Wells’ 1998 Perfect Game and Babe’s on and off field (ah-hem) accomplishments could make the case that for pitchers, if the arm’s lean and mean…who cares if their bellies are bigger than that of present day Angelina Jolie?
One could sooner point to first basemen or the DH as somewhere to trim the fat. (Yes you NL lovers—another point in the case against the DH.) Alas, first basemen have got to move a bit more. You know…run and stretch for a ball occasionally. The DH is safe as long as they keep putting bat on ball. A pitcher with a weight problem at least can use the extra padding to block any liners that come back towards the mound. Sure, all that undulating flab is distracting to the batter… but who cares, right? At a stretch, we could even call that pitching strategy.
Perhaps a good example of a player trimming his own fat is Ivan ‘Pudge’ Rodriguez. I’d guess that he was getting tired of the Pudge name and finally took off the weight. However, the likelier scenario is that squatting behind the plate with all those extra lbs. started taking a toll on his knees. He decided to skip the second helping of arroz con pollo before he was up a knee replacement and out of a job.
But the fact is, if the player produces, the management doesn’t care. For those who argue that ‘baseball isn’t a sport,’ – we sure aren’t doing ourselves any favors when we don’t demand our athletes reflect and respect the athleticism they were gifted with
Guys, do us all a favor and stop hitting the buffet, hit the gym and use some of your big MLB paycheck to hire a personal chef. The longevity of your career, your looser fitting uniform, and the fans will thank you.
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Corporal Agorn
Posts:171
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| 07-11-2008 - SelecA - |
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| These players might have had a few too many cookies you could say. And after today, they've probably had too much OF Cookie as well. We Met fans remember Sid Fernandez's weight problem to the extreme of calling him, basically "Fat Sid". |
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david
Posts:413
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| 07-11-2008 - SelecA - |
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| tony gwynn was quite to tubster when he was playing with the padres. and now he looks like he's eaten the san diego padres. i like it that there's a sport where fat guys can still excel. i mean the babe is the best of all time and perhaps the most slovenly of all time. that rocks. |
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Dude
Posts:569
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| 07-11-2008 - SelecA - |
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| cookie, the beauty of baseball is in the eye of the beholder. bigger is better. . . who can forget john "i'm not an athlete, i'm a ballplayer" kruk. your bambino would not be so sweet if he was skinny. and certainly david wells would not have had thrown a perfect game if he was on slim fast. as long as they are bigger from food and drink and not the clear i say more power to 'em. |
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PhillyPhanatic
Posts:527
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| 07-11-2008 - SelecA - |
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Cookie-Nice try but this post is just screaming out for the return of the Phanatic on many levels. The obvious one is me being Phat. The other is that despite your best efforts, your post sucks, it's boring and it's irrelevant. The 45 seconds I wasted reading it could have been spent finishing off my last Krispy Cream.
The other reason it's time to return is that despite Billy Wagner's best efforts, the Mets are relevant again. I said before my departure that it was a waste discussing your sorry team when they were below .500 and not realistic competition for the Defending National League East Champions. Also, with the MLB scheduling benefit of playing the AL bottom feeders for a month, the Mets are alive again.
So, I am sure you are all as excited as I am for my return. I will be negotiating with the Matts to return to my normal Phriday slot so all of you, my great Phans and the Phans of MTM will not have to be burdened with this sad excuse for a Phriday topic.
To my Phriends and in honor of Barak's request, I say Bonjour
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Finns
Posts:72
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| 07-11-2008 - SelecA - |
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Cookie very nice. Baseball is one sport where fat dirty names can thrive. Rusty Stab was a little chubby at the end of his career but he was one of those loveable fat guys.
And the Phanatic is fat and stupid which is no way to write a fan forum. |
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ActiveForums 3.6
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MATTS-MATICS: NY Jets vs NY Rangers |
BRAVE Fan Talks REDSKINS
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ROY HOBBS ON STEROIDS??? |
MEAGHAN & JAKE: COOLEST FANS |
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Nobody Remembers The Loser |
Giant/Super Tuesday |
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MATTS-MATICS: Hockey Nuts Go At It |
See us on: "Law & Order" |
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MATT FACTS:
Chad Pennington is NOT a Brett Favre fan... Hillary Clinton and Don Nelson have never been seen in the same place... Jerry Manuel is not related to Charlie ManuelJerry Manuel is not related to Charlie Manuel... Somebody namd Michel coaches the Pittsburgh Penguins... Tiki Barber quit the Giants. The Giants then won the Super Bowl... The New England Patriots only lost ONE game out of 19!!! Aaron Heilman was actually funny in re to Eli and Plaxico Burress helping the Mets as a pitcher and outfielder, respectively. Repeat, Heilman was funny... Jessica Simpson would rather date Tom Brady - trust us... Eli Manning is better than Archie - now... Alyssa Milano is a Met fan. RRRRR... Rickey Henderson speaks in the 3rd Person... Shawn Green has big ears... Howard Johnson likes to stay at the Holiday Inn, ironically... Sandy Alomar, Sr. is the youngest of 9 kids. That's why he was quick around the dish. Jiminy Cricket was the Philly Phanatic in a previous life…Fred Wilpon is pals with Sandy Koufax... Mike Ditka is a really tough guy.. Buffalo has a Triple A baseball team. They are NOT called The Snowballs... Chan Ho Park has people thinking of naming a ballfield after him - it would be called Chan Ho Park Park... John Maine has never been, oddly enough, to Maine... Curt Gowdy, Jr. has never been to Yellow Knife, Canada... Kevin Mitchell played 6 positions for the Mets in '86 and, according to Doc Gooden's book, didn't like cats... John Olerud & Wayne Gretzky have never been seen in the same place... Kevin McReynolds now makes his living doing laugh tracks for sit-coms... Tony Gwynn is nearing 300 lbs... Carlos Beltran has Mercedes Benz dealerships named for him in Barcelona, Spain... Willie Montanez was called Guillermo by Lenny Randle... Rusty Staub beat Jeff Kent in a race – TODAY... Jay Horwitz is a dynamite Cricket players – somebody said... Jeff Wilpon was a decent minor league catcher... Ziggy Palfy lives in Slovakia and is a big Met fan... Superman Returns, yet still can’t hit Billy Wagner... David Wright will win the Triple Crown – on a horse... Omar Minaya is Tobey McGuire’s stunt-double in Spider Man 3... Hilary Clinton has Mr. Met pajamas – we think... Albert Einstein was a HUGE Met fan... The Metropolitan Opera House was named for the Mets after their 2nd season in ’63... Wally Backman, ’86 sparkplug, considered changing his name to Wally Back-Matt... Neil Allen and Mike Stanton, former Mets, have Allen & Stanton Streets on Lower East Side named for them.
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