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Spring Break Training PART I |
Spring Break Training PART II |
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SABRES, PENS, SHOTGUNS & METS |
BILL BUCKNER WAS INNOCENT |
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ANGRYWARD
Posts:511
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| 07-02-2008 - SelecA - |
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NEW YORK, NY— During one of the electrical storms we recently experienced, something happened to my cable and now, whenever I watch SNY, I can actually hear the inner thoughts of Mets players and coaches. It was hard to get used to at first, as it’s sometimes hard to hear over the play-by-play. But it’s pretty cool once you get the hang of it. Here are some random examples of internal dialogues I picked up and transcribed.
Jose Reyes: “Man, David’s got a weird stance. This second baseman smells like coconut. Look at that butterfly, that’s pretty cool. I wonder if it’s gonna start raining. I think I’m gonna change my at-bat song. Jerry Manuel’s glasses are kinda wack. Why is that dude turning around? Ay dios! I can’t believe I got picked off second again.”
Scott Schoeneweis: “I like Aaron and everything but I am kinda stoked that he is doing so poorly this year. I look great by comparison. Well, maybe not great but good. Adequate? I like that word. I can live with adequate.”
Carlos Delgado: “I couldn’t have gotten to that ball. No way. That one too. What’s the matter with these people? These are clean base hits. I ain’t gonna dive for everything. That throw was sailing into the stands anyway, why should I jump? Eh, I’ll just drive in nine tomorrow and shut these jerks up."
Ryan Church: “Why is Jerry telling me what to do? Where’s Willie? Who’s this guy coaching first base? Man, I gotta stop getting these concussions?”
Luis Castillo: “This would be a good time for a fake bunt. So would this. Maybe one more time and then I’ll ground out to second.”
David Wright: “Oops! Jeez, looks like I just air mailed another one. Would it kill Delgado to jump? Oh well, another happy fan down the first base line. How many errors does that make, 11? No, 12 I think. No biggie, still got some breathing room. I won the gold glove last year with 21.”
Jerry Manuel: “I need to work on some new crazy quotes for the post game press conference. Hmm. How about something like: ‘Flushing is a good place for crap baseball’ or ‘If all of you reporters were urinal cakes you still couldn’t absorb how pissed I am right now’ or maybe ‘I just named Carlos Delgado captain. S**k on that!’”
Oliver Perez: Signal not available, contact your local cable provider.
Howard Johnson:
“Please get a hit. Please get a hit. Please get a hit. Please get a hit.”
Mr. Met: "I am never working a bachelor party again."
Sandy Alomar:
“Patience Sandy. Patience. When Jerry screws this up, you’ll get your chance.”
Marlon Anderson: "I wonder if I should tell the guys that I was once one of the Solid Gold dancers."
John Maine: "Is talking to yourself normal? I need to ask someone about this."
Come to think of it, this stuff isn't all that riveting. I need to call Time Warner and get this fixed.
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steve swindall
Posts:12
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| 07-02-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Can I get a job with Time Warner Cable? |
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Cookie
Posts:355
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| 07-02-2008 - SelecA - |
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Frickin home run AW. Unbelievable.
The Delgado inner mind is just dead on. Heck.. I thought perhaps he had some bad pit stains and didn't want to raise his hands up too high for anything.
I'm wondering about Billy Wagner and Omar.
Omar might be a bit transparent: 'Phew.. heat is off a bit now that I axed Willie. But wait... the team is still under .500.... maybe not. I see the Met town villagers way over there at Gate B. Is that torches they're lighting?? Oh crap... I'd better go hide.' |
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Ed Nelson
Posts:167
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| 07-02-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Unbelievable! After an 'adequate' day yesterday - no offense to the Great George Carlin but the Matts are now in the tough position of coming between WCC and AW - todays has me going back and re reading my all time faves, just to compare. I am cracking up. You put the entire team, season and organization in perspective. I can just hear Reyes wondering 'Should I get a pedicure? Pedro says they're cool.' right before getting picked. BRILLIANT! |
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Denise
Posts:69
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| 07-02-2008 - SelecA - |
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| you need to be renamed hysterical ward! i want to marry you - right after i have a fling with a-rod and madonna... |
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Nick C
Posts:99
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| 07-02-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Ed is right on the money - Matts, you need to pick it up here. You guys havent gotten your suits dirty in a while. Angry Ward and West Coast Craig are like Rex O'Rourke diving all over the place making great plays! This one was a world series clinching unassisted triple play by AW!!! That and the fact that the Mets had a couple of two out rbi last night have me very happy. Thanks AW! |
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ActiveForums 3.6
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ROY HOBBS ON STEROIDS??? |
MEAGHAN & JAKE: COOLEST FANS |
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Nobody Remembers The Loser |
Giant/Super Tuesday |
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MATTS-MATICS: Hockey Nuts Go At It |
See us on: "Law & Order" |
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MATT FACTS:
Chad Pennington is NOT a Brett Favre fan... Hillary Clinton and Don Nelson have never been seen in the same place... Jerry Manuel is not related to Charlie ManuelJerry Manuel is not related to Charlie Manuel... Somebody namd Michel coaches the Pittsburgh Penguins... Tiki Barber quit the Giants. The Giants then won the Super Bowl... The New England Patriots only lost ONE game out of 19!!! Aaron Heilman was actually funny in re to Eli and Plaxico Burress helping the Mets as a pitcher and outfielder, respectively. Repeat, Heilman was funny... Jessica Simpson would rather date Tom Brady - trust us... Eli Manning is better than Archie - now... Alyssa Milano is a Met fan. RRRRR... Rickey Henderson speaks in the 3rd Person... Shawn Green has big ears... Howard Johnson likes to stay at the Holiday Inn, ironically... Sandy Alomar, Sr. is the youngest of 9 kids. That's why he was quick around the dish. Jiminy Cricket was the Philly Phanatic in a previous life…Fred Wilpon is pals with Sandy Koufax... Mike Ditka is a really tough guy.. Buffalo has a Triple A baseball team. They are NOT called The Snowballs... Chan Ho Park has people thinking of naming a ballfield after him - it would be called Chan Ho Park Park... John Maine has never been, oddly enough, to Maine... Curt Gowdy, Jr. has never been to Yellow Knife, Canada... Kevin Mitchell played 6 positions for the Mets in '86 and, according to Doc Gooden's book, didn't like cats... John Olerud & Wayne Gretzky have never been seen in the same place... Kevin McReynolds now makes his living doing laugh tracks for sit-coms... Tony Gwynn is nearing 300 lbs... Carlos Beltran has Mercedes Benz dealerships named for him in Barcelona, Spain... Willie Montanez was called Guillermo by Lenny Randle... Rusty Staub beat Jeff Kent in a race – TODAY... Jay Horwitz is a dynamite Cricket players – somebody said... Jeff Wilpon was a decent minor league catcher... Ziggy Palfy lives in Slovakia and is a big Met fan... Superman Returns, yet still can’t hit Billy Wagner... David Wright will win the Triple Crown – on a horse... Omar Minaya is Tobey McGuire’s stunt-double in Spider Man 3... Hilary Clinton has Mr. Met pajamas – we think... Albert Einstein was a HUGE Met fan... The Metropolitan Opera House was named for the Mets after their 2nd season in ’63... Wally Backman, ’86 sparkplug, considered changing his name to Wally Back-Matt... Neil Allen and Mike Stanton, former Mets, have Allen & Stanton Streets on Lower East Side named for them.
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