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Spring Break Training PART I

Spring Break Training PART II

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SABRES, PENS, SHOTGUNS & METS

BILL BUCKNER   WAS INNOCENT

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COST OF BEING A FAN: ELECTION ’08 ISSUE
by TheMatts
CAPITOL HILL, DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA – Let’s face it...
THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM NANTUCKET...
by Sam's-a-fan
Who carried his cash in a bucket. But his daugh...
MEET THE MATTS HAIKU MANIA
by TheMatts
KYOTO, JAPAN – A while back we discovered a Myspac...
ANGRY WARD WEDNESDAY: BAMBINA BREAK
by TheMatts
NEW YORK CITY—My wife and I are expecting a visit ...

  
Subject: ANGRY WARD WEDNESDAY: ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMMING

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Author Messages
Sam's-a-fan
Posts:710

06-25-2008 - SelecP - Alert 
Phanatic, The only difference between you and MJ is he couldn't hit a curve!
Randy Levine
Posts:116

06-25-2008 - SelecP - Alert 
Thurm jokes are out of bounds.
West Coast Craig
Posts:129

06-25-2008 - SelecP - Alert 
Excellent work AW...punch some of these up, pick the best three, and then get to pitching for the upcoming MLB Network, as I'm sure they'll be desperate for material within hours of going on the air next year.
Cookie
Posts:375

06-26-2008 - SelecP - Alert 
Sorry to be late to the party.. but I am now back from the dial-up connection zone. (OK.. that's an exaggeration.. but not by much.)

AW.... STELLAR!!! Another unbelievable work of genius. I am SHOCKED you missed 'Are You Smarter Than A Steinbrenner?'

Another high ratings getter would be 'GRIPEOUT' (a nod to ABC's new reality/competition show 'Wipeout') For the MLB version, this would focus on Billy Wagner's various and sundry gripes about why he imploded on the mound. Insert any other complaining Mutt (or Omar) for variety.
Wisconsin Walt
Posts:94

06-27-2008 - SelecA - Alert 
Just think of all the spinoffs! Sprinkle in a cheezy celeb like Charlie Sheen... Great job AW!!!
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Nobody Remembers The Loser 

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MATTS-MATICS: Hockey Nuts Go At It 

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POLAND? ITALY?
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WHO WE ARE... TORONTO
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MATT FACTS:
Chad Pennington is NOT a Brett Favre fan... Hillary Clinton and Don Nelson have never been  seen in the same place... Jerry Manuel is not related to Charlie ManuelJerry Manuel is not related to Charlie Manuel... Somebody namd Michel coaches the Pittsburgh Penguins... Tiki Barber quit the Giants. The Giants then won the Super Bowl... The New England Patriots only lost ONE game out of 19!!! Aaron Heilman was actually funny in re to Eli and Plaxico Burress helping the Mets as a pitcher and outfielder, respectively. Repeat, Heilman was funny... Jessica Simpson would rather date Tom Brady - trust us... Eli Manning is better than Archie - now... Alyssa Milano is a Met fan. RRRRR... Rickey Henderson speaks in the 3rd Person... Shawn Green has big ears... Howard Johnson likes to stay at the Holiday Inn, ironically... Sandy Alomar, Sr. is the youngest of 9 kids. That's why he was quick around the dish. Jiminy Cricket was  the Philly Phanatic in a previous life…Fred Wilpon is pals  with Sandy Koufax... Mike Ditka is a really tough guy.. Buffalo has a Triple A baseball team. They are NOT called The Snowballs... Chan Ho Park has people thinking of naming a ballfield after him - it would be called Chan Ho Park Park... John Maine has never been, oddly enough, to Maine... Curt Gowdy, Jr. has never been to Yellow Knife, Canada... Kevin Mitchell played 6 positions for the Mets in '86 and, according to Doc Gooden's book, didn't like cats... John Olerud & Wayne Gretzky have never been seen in the same place... Kevin McReynolds now makes his living doing laugh tracks for sit-coms... Tony Gwynn is nearing 300 lbs... Carlos Beltran has Mercedes Benz dealerships named for him in Barcelona, Spain... Willie Montanez was called Guillermo by Lenny Randle... Rusty Staub beat Jeff Kent in a race – TODAY... Jay Horwitz is a dynamite Cricket players – somebody said... Jeff Wilpon was a decent minor league catcher... Ziggy Palfy lives in Slovakia and is a big Met fan... Superman Returns, yet still can’t hit Billy Wagner... David Wright will win the Triple Crown – on a horse... Omar Minaya is Tobey McGuire’s stunt-double in Spider Man 3... Hilary Clinton has Mr. Met pajamas – we think... Albert Einstein was a HUGE Met fan... The Metropolitan Opera House was named for the Mets after their 2nd season in ’63... Wally Backman, ’86 sparkplug, considered changing his name to Wally Back-Matt... Neil Allen and Mike Stanton, former Mets, have Allen & Stanton Streets on Lower East Side named for them.

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