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Spring Break Training PART I |
Spring Break Training PART II |
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SABRES, PENS, SHOTGUNS & METS |
BILL BUCKNER WAS INNOCENT |
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TheMatts
Posts:1426
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| 06-12-2008 - SelecA - |
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| LEIPZIG, GERMANY – At the precipice of the lowest point in the history of the New York Mets, the team somehow found an improbable way to win in the 13th inning. The lowest point? Yes, worse than 1962. Worse than the late 70’s meets the early 80’s? Yep. Even worse than the early to mid-90’s? You bet. How can we say that? Simple. The payroll for this franchise is at an all time high, ergo, the current tanking is easily on the brink of the lowest of low. Carlos Beltran rescued the Mets with a dramatic home run, shape-shifting from pedestrian day player to extra-inning hero. Meanwhile, the fact that the Mets were in the position of needing a dramatic win was most absurd. Michael Pelfrey, who is emerging into a decent pitcher, was on the verge of a complete game shutout when Sillie Randolph pulled him after giving up a hit in the top of the 9th. Randolph predictably lifts Pelfrey, sporting a 3-0 lead against Brandon Webb no less, in favor of Billy Wagner. Thus the table was set for today’s headline. In the opening piece, “Das Rheingold,” Brandon Webb - the league’s most formidable pitcher - is quietly attacked by fairies, Reyes and Castillo, who are driven home by a minor God of the Gods, Carlos Beltran (on a single to center). Billy Wagner is in the bullpen drinking das Rheingold. In Part II, “Die Valkyries,” Webb is set upon by another minor god, Carlos Delgado. Delgod’s laser to the hip signals the end of Webb’s night as another run scores. Meanwhile, Pelfrey rides the Valkyries on his way to Valhalla (his suburban Westchester home). He is still pitching nearly flawless shut-out ball, as the fallen Webb is removed and his body is burned as a sacrificial lamb to the baseball Immortals. Billy Wagner is now in the dugout drinking das Rheingold. On to Part III: “Siegfried”… Pelfrey continues his mastery of the NL West’s best, hitting 95 on the radar gun in a final strikeout in the 8th. After a lead-off single in the top of the 9th, the Nibelung dwarf Randolph, removes the young warrior to bring in the closer. Drunk on Rheingold and just finishing a dram of dragon’s blood, Wagner charges onto the field under strains of ‘Enter Sandman” or “Kommen Sie herein Sandmann” – we get them confused. The dragon’s blood allows Wagner to understand the woodbird’s song; it tells him that despite his past heroics, another must emerge from the shadows and assume the mantel - God of Gods. Wagner implodes and gives up the game-tying jack to Mark Reynolds. Reynolds body is surrounded by a ring of fire as he passes into the pantheon of Diamondback immortals. Wagner is taken to rehab. The final opera - “Gotterdammerung” (Twilight of the Gods) - is a slow movement with back and forth empty frames with little drama. Little drama, that is, until the bottom of the 13th. That’s when Beltran, facing Edgar Gonzalez’s ball forged at Rawlings, laced the game winning blast in walk off fashion to bring the cycle to it’s dramatic close. Beltran is the God of Gods. But he still available for a blockbuster trade to anyone with interest. The Phanatic, B.Cox or somebody of notoriety tomorrow. |
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Tommy Hawk
Posts:51
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| 06-12-2008 - SelecA - |
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| you guys 'inhaling' again? wagner sucks the life out the team and you 2 become english majors. |
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Joe
Posts:84
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| 06-12-2008 - SelecA - |
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| dont know what any of that stuff means but willies gotta go. his face doesnt change it now pisses me off. |
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Oregon Pete
Posts:63
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| 06-12-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Is Beltran more like Fricka or more like Wotan? And weren't all the Valkyries female? |
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TheMatts
Posts:1426
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| 06-12-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Please! Don't you people know your German opera?!?! Certain things are expected of you all here. Do your research and try not to disappoint by slacking!!! |
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ANGRYWARD
Posts:501
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| 06-12-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Wagner finally gets to come into some big spots and help this team and he comes up empty. Until he proves he can come through consistently with the game on the line, he needs to shut his big mouth. That goes for everyone on the Mets. You can't be a vocal leader unless you are getting it done day in and day out on the field. Is there anyone on this club you can say that about? Well, when he was healthy, maybe Ryan Church. Finally, I hear Moises Alou is petitioning MLB to let him play in a golf cart. |
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ActiveForums 3.6
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ROY HOBBS ON STEROIDS??? |
MEAGHAN & JAKE: COOLEST FANS |
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Nobody Remembers The Loser |
Giant/Super Tuesday |
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MATTS-MATICS: Hockey Nuts Go At It |
See us on: "Law & Order" |
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MATT FACTS:
Chad Pennington is NOT a Brett Favre fan... Hillary Clinton and Don Nelson have never been seen in the same place... Jerry Manuel is not related to Charlie ManuelJerry Manuel is not related to Charlie Manuel... Somebody namd Michel coaches the Pittsburgh Penguins... Tiki Barber quit the Giants. The Giants then won the Super Bowl... The New England Patriots only lost ONE game out of 19!!! Aaron Heilman was actually funny in re to Eli and Plaxico Burress helping the Mets as a pitcher and outfielder, respectively. Repeat, Heilman was funny... Jessica Simpson would rather date Tom Brady - trust us... Eli Manning is better than Archie - now... Alyssa Milano is a Met fan. RRRRR... Rickey Henderson speaks in the 3rd Person... Shawn Green has big ears... Howard Johnson likes to stay at the Holiday Inn, ironically... Sandy Alomar, Sr. is the youngest of 9 kids. That's why he was quick around the dish. Jiminy Cricket was the Philly Phanatic in a previous life…Fred Wilpon is pals with Sandy Koufax... Mike Ditka is a really tough guy.. Buffalo has a Triple A baseball team. They are NOT called The Snowballs... Chan Ho Park has people thinking of naming a ballfield after him - it would be called Chan Ho Park Park... John Maine has never been, oddly enough, to Maine... Curt Gowdy, Jr. has never been to Yellow Knife, Canada... Kevin Mitchell played 6 positions for the Mets in '86 and, according to Doc Gooden's book, didn't like cats... John Olerud & Wayne Gretzky have never been seen in the same place... Kevin McReynolds now makes his living doing laugh tracks for sit-coms... Tony Gwynn is nearing 300 lbs... Carlos Beltran has Mercedes Benz dealerships named for him in Barcelona, Spain... Willie Montanez was called Guillermo by Lenny Randle... Rusty Staub beat Jeff Kent in a race – TODAY... Jay Horwitz is a dynamite Cricket players – somebody said... Jeff Wilpon was a decent minor league catcher... Ziggy Palfy lives in Slovakia and is a big Met fan... Superman Returns, yet still can’t hit Billy Wagner... David Wright will win the Triple Crown – on a horse... Omar Minaya is Tobey McGuire’s stunt-double in Spider Man 3... Hilary Clinton has Mr. Met pajamas – we think... Albert Einstein was a HUGE Met fan... The Metropolitan Opera House was named for the Mets after their 2nd season in ’63... Wally Backman, ’86 sparkplug, considered changing his name to Wally Back-Matt... Neil Allen and Mike Stanton, former Mets, have Allen & Stanton Streets on Lower East Side named for them.
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