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Spring Break Training PART I |
Spring Break Training PART II |
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SABRES, PENS, SHOTGUNS & METS |
BILL BUCKNER WAS INNOCENT |
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West Coast Craig
Posts:113
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| 06-09-2008 - SelecA - |
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“…these are the words that describe a man who wears a mustache. Yes, it says to the world ‘I’m a man of action.’ Ah, but action tempered with maturity…like a fireman, or somebody’s Dad….”
So said The Tick back in 1996, but the message was heeded last week by a new man of action for the new millennium, Jason Giambi. Sure, by this Monday morning the story has been beaten a bit to death--even the Matts got into the act right here on Saturday with a dismissive maligning of the offending hair—but Giambino continues to rake the ball (“rake” perhaps a good grooming tool as well), giving another mustache ride, 10 cents, to a Zach Greinke offering in the sixth Sunday. Now, the easy story is about ballplayers and their crazy superstitions, putting it in the same category as so-and-so eating ten hot dogs with peanut butter before getting a key sacrifice fly and now doing it before every game and getting the whole locker room spreading Laura Scudders on their Hebrew Nationals. Indeed, when Johnny Damon went nuts on Saturday with his own caterpillar lip, you could hear the collective rush for the keyboards of the city’s bloggers all the way from L.A., but I for one think that Damon needs the Jesus beard or nothing at all. His mustache just made him look like a cast member of Swingtown. There were jokes about Joba growing one (but looking like a fifth grader, which raises the point that facial hair should only be left to those older than say, 28), or that Jeter’s response was “no way” (a wise decision, though he might be able to pull off a classy Clark Gable). The thing about Giambi’s is that it’s a good old fashioned “cop stache,” so much better than the “skeezy, wanna-be biker” thing he was sporting when he won the MVP eight long years ago.
I used to be a bit ashamed that the Yankees had this draconian facial hair policy, but looking at all the lame goatees and soul patches around the league nowadays, I’ve changed my tune somewhat…though I must admit that the Red Sox have perhaps the most finely groomed whiskers, from Papi’s pencil-thin beard thingy to Lowell’s downright metrosexual van dyke. Frankly, while there’ve indeed been some nicely hirsute cheeks out there, despite the rule the Yanks do have a solid history of good mustaches, from Thurman Munson’s burly “fireman,” Gator’s slick “Ricky Ricardo,” Goose’s outstanding Fu (I’ll take his over the crazy imitation of the Mad Hungarian Al Hrabosky’s), and of course Donnie Baseball’s classic “Midwestern.” Hard to believe that, prior to 1970, EVERY team had a no-facial-hair-whatsoever policy, a conservative lunacy broken up by Richie Allen and, bless his fro, Reggie Jackson. This actually caused some controversy, it’s the attitude that Abe Simpson expressed during the 1969 Superbowl when seeing Joe Namath: “Look at those sideburns, he looks like a girl! Now Johnny Unitas, there’s a haircut you can set your watch to!” (Speaking of Simpsons quotes that apply, there are a few real good ones: Burns admonishing “Mattingly I told you to shave those sideburns,” to Milhouse crying “I just wanted the Carl Yastrzemski with the big sideburns,” to the most beautifully apropos-of-nothing moment where Homer, painting over the address on his curb, writes “’74 Oakland A’s—Best Team Ever”…a dubious claim unless of course you’re talking about the best facial hair teams ever, with the all time mustache MVP, Rollie Fingers).
So, Yankees, keep the policy…but Giambi, keep the stache. Mets fans, you surely understand, you had one of the all time great beards in Pat Zachary’s, and of course your own mustache MVP who has held onto it to this very day (even if he feels like he must dye it to get the chicks), Keith Hernandez.
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Corporal Agorn
Posts:155
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| 06-09-2008 - SelecA - |
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| I cracked on the Yankees new love affair with facial hair last week. maybe i take it back. The Mets might need to sport mohawks with van dycks to get some momentum. |
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Cookie
Posts:337
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| 06-09-2008 - SelecA - |
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Clearly the 'stache is working for Giambi.. so keep it you big oaf and keep producing. Damon's is still so light i can hardly see it.... but i see the hits... so keep that thing growing.
As for historical hair-- Munson's was great. Let's not forget Rollie Fingers' 'stache. Though he was paid by A's ownership to grow it... it worked for him and he continued to keep it in fine form. And, in a recent photo-- Goose is still sporting his 'stache. It's grayed out.. but looks fabulous.
Mets need something. Perhaps they can adopt the lame pookabead use of the Red Sux a few years back. (Though some may still be sporting them. I can't keep up with their fashion o' the season junk.) |
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TheMatts
Posts:1426
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| 06-09-2008 - SelecA - |
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| West Coat Craig: It's good to have you back at the helm, we were clearly scuffling without you. We think playoff hockey beards should be insisted upon by Fred Wilpon - the Mets can't shave until they are 6 games above .500. Either that, or they all must shave their heads like a certain sports/comedy duo - for the rest of the season. |
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ANGRYWARD
Posts:501
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| 06-09-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Forget facial hair, the Mets need to grow some ball$. Swept out of San Diego. Ya Gotta Believe, the Willie watch is back on. |
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Cookie
Posts:337
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| 06-09-2008 - SelecA - |
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| Where's AZ? With the upcoming series-- I expect some smack talk to start... |
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ActiveForums 3.6
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ROY HOBBS ON STEROIDS??? |
MEAGHAN & JAKE: COOLEST FANS |
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Nobody Remembers The Loser |
Giant/Super Tuesday |
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MATTS-MATICS: Hockey Nuts Go At It |
See us on: "Law & Order" |
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MATT FACTS:
Chad Pennington is NOT a Brett Favre fan... Hillary Clinton and Don Nelson have never been seen in the same place... Jerry Manuel is not related to Charlie ManuelJerry Manuel is not related to Charlie Manuel... Somebody namd Michel coaches the Pittsburgh Penguins... Tiki Barber quit the Giants. The Giants then won the Super Bowl... The New England Patriots only lost ONE game out of 19!!! Aaron Heilman was actually funny in re to Eli and Plaxico Burress helping the Mets as a pitcher and outfielder, respectively. Repeat, Heilman was funny... Jessica Simpson would rather date Tom Brady - trust us... Eli Manning is better than Archie - now... Alyssa Milano is a Met fan. RRRRR... Rickey Henderson speaks in the 3rd Person... Shawn Green has big ears... Howard Johnson likes to stay at the Holiday Inn, ironically... Sandy Alomar, Sr. is the youngest of 9 kids. That's why he was quick around the dish. Jiminy Cricket was the Philly Phanatic in a previous life…Fred Wilpon is pals with Sandy Koufax... Mike Ditka is a really tough guy.. Buffalo has a Triple A baseball team. They are NOT called The Snowballs... Chan Ho Park has people thinking of naming a ballfield after him - it would be called Chan Ho Park Park... John Maine has never been, oddly enough, to Maine... Curt Gowdy, Jr. has never been to Yellow Knife, Canada... Kevin Mitchell played 6 positions for the Mets in '86 and, according to Doc Gooden's book, didn't like cats... John Olerud & Wayne Gretzky have never been seen in the same place... Kevin McReynolds now makes his living doing laugh tracks for sit-coms... Tony Gwynn is nearing 300 lbs... Carlos Beltran has Mercedes Benz dealerships named for him in Barcelona, Spain... Willie Montanez was called Guillermo by Lenny Randle... Rusty Staub beat Jeff Kent in a race – TODAY... Jay Horwitz is a dynamite Cricket players – somebody said... Jeff Wilpon was a decent minor league catcher... Ziggy Palfy lives in Slovakia and is a big Met fan... Superman Returns, yet still can’t hit Billy Wagner... David Wright will win the Triple Crown – on a horse... Omar Minaya is Tobey McGuire’s stunt-double in Spider Man 3... Hilary Clinton has Mr. Met pajamas – we think... Albert Einstein was a HUGE Met fan... The Metropolitan Opera House was named for the Mets after their 2nd season in ’63... Wally Backman, ’86 sparkplug, considered changing his name to Wally Back-Matt... Neil Allen and Mike Stanton, former Mets, have Allen & Stanton Streets on Lower East Side named for them.
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