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{WE HAD TO TAKE HIS NAME DOWN}, HILL-BILLY JOBAMA & CHEESE-STOKES
by TheMatts
PHILTHYDELPHIA, PA – What a night! All kinds of st...
ANGRY WARD WEDNESDAY: A REMEMBRANCE OF PROGNOSTICATIONS PAST
by ANGRYWARD
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Subject: POOR CHOICE AWARDS: GIAMBI A WINNER

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Author Messages
TheMatts
Posts:1444

06-07-2008 - SelecA - Alert 
TAVERN ON THE GREEN, NYC - As an incredulous Apollo Anton Ohno slammed his fist and shook his head in disbelief, a thrilled Tom “Magnum, P.I.” Selleck applauded proudly as protégé Jason Giambi jumped from his seat and raced up the stage steps to accept his ‘Matty’ last night at the 16th Annual MTM Poor Choice Awards. The category, of course, was Athletic Facial Hair; Non-Beards. Speed Skater Ohno, was heard to gasp, “Oh no, Ohno was robbed!” and tried ruining Giambi’s acceptance speech. He was intercepted, however, by Pac Man Jones, who tackled the sobbing Ohno. As Security (Tank Johnson) cuffed the soul patch-wearing skater, Pac Man waved his finger in Ohno’s face and said, “Oh no, Ohno. Not when the new P.M Jones is in the house!” This, ladies and gents, was just one of the night’s riveting events.
Zydrunas Ilgauskas of the Cleveland Cavaliers accepted the Matty for Upside Down Guy – the MTM award for the athlete making the classically poor choice of growing a beard so people won’t notice he’s bald. Tony Kornheiser came in second. "Korny" also came in second for Comb-Over, losing to Gene Keady, former Purdue basketball and current Big Ten analyst. Woody Harrelson’s “Kingpin” character came in third despite our heavy lobbying.
Shannon Sharpe edged out Charles Oakley and Allen Iverson for the Fashion Faux-pas Fez (orange, with our cartoon likenesses). Presenter Richard Simmons jumped into Shannon's arms as fellow presenter Keith Hernandez spit out his zinfadel. Later, Don Cherry was seen giving the nominees advice at Elaine’s with Gary Apple.
Finally, just as the evening’s biggest Matty (Poorest Personnel Picker) was about to be given to one of two finalists, locals Brian Cashman and Omar Minaya, the power went out… Matt forgot to pay the Con-Ed bill – truly, a poor choice. Any thoughts on who won??? Chime in below and look for Rex O’Rourke tomorrow.
Joe
Posts:85

06-07-2008 - SelecA - Alert 
omar wins. is the prize an axe?
Linda
Posts:79

06-07-2008 - SelecA - Alert 
An axe! I get it! LOL
ANGRYWARD
Posts:511

06-07-2008 - SelecA - Alert 
Bill Bavasi of Seattle would beat Omar and Cashman out for poorest personnel picker any day. He is a moron of the highest order. Nice to see the Yanks help the Royals bust out of their road losing streak last night. Awesome.
ANGRYWARD
Posts:511

06-07-2008 - SelecA - Alert 
Giambi and Damon look like they are auditoning for the Sequel to "Can't Stop the Music."
PhillyPhanatic
Posts:487

06-07-2008 - SelecA - Alert 
YS-Here are some more obscure stats for you. The Mets are a .500 team, in 4th place and there are now more teams ahead of them in the NL than there are behind them. No wonder you have to talk about public transportation. Imagine if you had to make that long walk from the LIRR to the gate today in this heat. You would melt. Make sure you have lots of cold water today.
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MATT FACTS:
Chad Pennington is NOT a Brett Favre fan... Hillary Clinton and Don Nelson have never been  seen in the same place... Jerry Manuel is not related to Charlie ManuelJerry Manuel is not related to Charlie Manuel... Somebody namd Michel coaches the Pittsburgh Penguins... Tiki Barber quit the Giants. The Giants then won the Super Bowl... The New England Patriots only lost ONE game out of 19!!! Aaron Heilman was actually funny in re to Eli and Plaxico Burress helping the Mets as a pitcher and outfielder, respectively. Repeat, Heilman was funny... Jessica Simpson would rather date Tom Brady - trust us... Eli Manning is better than Archie - now... Alyssa Milano is a Met fan. RRRRR... Rickey Henderson speaks in the 3rd Person... Shawn Green has big ears... Howard Johnson likes to stay at the Holiday Inn, ironically... Sandy Alomar, Sr. is the youngest of 9 kids. That's why he was quick around the dish. Jiminy Cricket was  the Philly Phanatic in a previous life…Fred Wilpon is pals  with Sandy Koufax... Mike Ditka is a really tough guy.. Buffalo has a Triple A baseball team. They are NOT called The Snowballs... Chan Ho Park has people thinking of naming a ballfield after him - it would be called Chan Ho Park Park... John Maine has never been, oddly enough, to Maine... Curt Gowdy, Jr. has never been to Yellow Knife, Canada... Kevin Mitchell played 6 positions for the Mets in '86 and, according to Doc Gooden's book, didn't like cats... John Olerud & Wayne Gretzky have never been seen in the same place... Kevin McReynolds now makes his living doing laugh tracks for sit-coms... Tony Gwynn is nearing 300 lbs... Carlos Beltran has Mercedes Benz dealerships named for him in Barcelona, Spain... Willie Montanez was called Guillermo by Lenny Randle... Rusty Staub beat Jeff Kent in a race – TODAY... Jay Horwitz is a dynamite Cricket players – somebody said... Jeff Wilpon was a decent minor league catcher... Ziggy Palfy lives in Slovakia and is a big Met fan... Superman Returns, yet still can’t hit Billy Wagner... David Wright will win the Triple Crown – on a horse... Omar Minaya is Tobey McGuire’s stunt-double in Spider Man 3... Hilary Clinton has Mr. Met pajamas – we think... Albert Einstein was a HUGE Met fan... The Metropolitan Opera House was named for the Mets after their 2nd season in ’63... Wally Backman, ’86 sparkplug, considered changing his name to Wally Back-Matt... Neil Allen and Mike Stanton, former Mets, have Allen & Stanton Streets on Lower East Side named for them.

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